Mike Bialek-Prado

Self made thousandaire. Son of two immigrants. Comedian. 4th grade Connect Four champion.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

I did outdoor dining one time and a pigeon dropped a hard piece of crusty stale bread on my table.

I said: “Ayy can I get some olive oil too”?

4 people laughed.

That was technically my best standup set in 2021.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

When they start playing portable tennis in the handball courts, rent is goin’ up.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

People that are mad about Bad Bunny but liked La Bamba and Gangnam Style, I’d like to have a word with you.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

I took a nap and woke up to Chicago Pope.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

Whoever figured out sweet plantains, genius.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

I just baked a potato. I ate it. It was nice.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

Someone stabbed me, but they winked at me too. Should’ve realized they were treating me with love.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

@Doritos Broritos

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

Just shine brighter.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

This lousy Smarch weather!

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

AHHHHHHHHH!
(Morning scream)

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

Terminator 2: Judgement Day.
A perfect film.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Peepee poopoo, peepee poopoo.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

I choo-choo-choose me.

[ROSE LANI @pradamercury]

How it feels to ask someone if they’re gonna eat their pickle

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

It was Jiffy btw.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

Gotta catch my train.
A jar of peanut butter,
Rolling on the floor.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

A morning haiku inspired by some dude eating from a jar of peanut butter and then chucking it on the subway platform.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

Someone in the press core just needs to yell out “YO MOMMA”! if he keeps on spouting more nonsense.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

I’m talkin’ about meteors.

[Mike Bialek-Prado @YoMikeSon]

Ya want one big one or a bunch of small ones?