Lucy ❤

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

Whoever puts fennel on everything bagels is a sick individual who I have a personal vendetta against

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

I like stories with reckless abandon, not caring whose story it is and with almost no reason behind the ones I choose to like

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

Trying to search for lil nas new song j christ but getting a bunch of Christian podcasts 🙄

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

Depop girlies are always calling their thrifted resales "pieces" im like... that is a children's Walmart shirt that you're trying to sell as a "baby tee"

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

The can of tomatoes I just used made an ungodly sound when the tomatoes left the can as I poured them into the bowl

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

I'm like the Veruca Salt of smoking weed

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

@timothyin04 Idk but I'm blaming Elon musk

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

The fact that I was born the day before Feb 29th 2004 is my villian origin story.. like is there anything lamer than being born the day before the rarest birthday 😭😭😭 it should've been me

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

@timothyin04 No I like it

[brandAn is good @LeBearGirdle]

The Grinch: I'm not a fan of the materialism of Christmas

An entire town for some reason: I hope he dies alone

[effortless and soulful pimp @funko_wop]

get a few beers in me and watch my crazy ass start sayin shit like “the hour grows late. i had best be on my way…”

[aka dykeistan @dykeistan]

i would give my life for my friends i'd do anything for them except answer their text messages

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

So weird finding out ur peers have KIDS... I'm chilling with my coworker and she was talking to a parent and goes "oh my kiddo does that too🥰" I'm like YOUR WHAT?

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

@schilliamm Boy dinner

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

Me: everything is terrible and I hate life
The Starbucks barista: puts a little ♡ or :) next to my name
Me: I would like to retract my previous statement

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

I wish I could put "really good at selecting the perfect Tupperware size for the amount of leftovers" on my resume

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

I wish 9mm septum rings were more common.. like the standard sizes to pick from are 8 and 10mm but 8 feels too small and 10 feels way too big so I found one in 9 and it's just right but it's hard af to find any cute designs in 9 mm://

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

I wish I was one of those girls who got "omg your hair is so thick!!" At the hairdresser but instead I get "omg your hair is so fine!!" 😕🫥

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

@schilliamm Aka make tycho kill them

[Lucy ❤ @ZacharchyStan]

@schilliamm This is why I kill them