Coworker: I like my “piss stashy hoes” with the cover on them.
Me: “I’m sorry what…pistachios?”
Coworker: “yeah with the cover”
Me: “YOU MEAN THE SHELL”
Coworker: “Yeah that”
Me:
I get ban for typing “report the viper for calling people retarded” but when they have been berating the team and literally called me retarded and then ear raped the rest of the match they get nothing ok… yo @VALORANT fix your automated system
Me: what brand do you use? Like yankee candle or air wick?
Coworker: I don’t know I got it at Walmart *goes to Walmart to find brand* what would you call those I typed in wall mount smeller
Me: you idiot
Me: *Minding my own business at 7:00 AM*
Coworker: *to other coworker* “hey dude nice new shirt”
Other coworker: “Thanks man I just don’t like this band on the sleeve it makes my arms look scrawny like Zach”
Excuse me as I try to kms but the wind keeps me from doing so 🙄🙄