If there really is some grand puppet master, I wish they would just step out from behind the curtain and show themselves. I’m way more likely to support them than these two idiots I’m currently supposed to choose between.
Being coercively shamed into silence, in ANY relationship, while the other side is out smearing, controlling the narrative, is a massive sign you’re in an abusive dynamic. And that the other party clearly knows what they are doing. Don’t people please yourself into a prison.
Feelings someone’s pain and knowing how they feel their pain are two different things. Just because you can feel someone’s pain does not mean you know how they feel it or how it affects them. Assuming this and thinking you know what’s best for someone is toxic behavior.