jake

HBO Go Stan

[Dylan Hornik @_Hornik_]

My wife’s book club watching me stumble back into the house after watching the World Cup with a group of Scottish tourists

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then ��� I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[jake @Zookerstan]

@CardIllini Would love several of these if you want to message me

[That Guy Rocked CFB @ThatFBGuyRocked]

Arrelious Benn.

That guy rocked.

[jake @Zookerstan]

@CardIllini I think that’s what they’re going for but those are twilled/stitched and not sublimated. Saw this get called out with a Panini NFL card last year too.

[Stacy Cay @stacycay]

This is what the inside of Taco Bell used to look like before George Bush ruined it

[Minnesota Timberwolves @Timberwolves]

might wanna frame this.

[Minnesota Timberwolves @Timberwolves]

GOOOOOOODNIGHT. 😴

[Josh Billinson @jbillinson]

Mike Vrabel in cheating on your wife therapy:

[Illinois Men's Basketball @IlliniMBB]

secret’s out

[Joey Wagner @mrwagner25]

Andrej Stojakovic delivering the news.

[The Kingfisher @TheKingfisher18]

Two inarguable facts that we learned today:

1. Keaton Wagler is the best freshman in college basketball.
2. ICE agents can execute you in the gutter with zero justification and the federal government will be running interference with blatant lies before your body is cold.

[New York Jets @nyjets]

difficulty level: impossible

try not to smile watching Isaiah Williams find out he was this year's team MVP

[jake @Zookerstan]

@FOS yuck

[jake @Zookerstan]

@CFBPlayoff @espn @ESPNPR @2026Miamihc @CottonBowlGame @OrangeBowl @rosebowlgame @SugarBowlNola @Fiesta_Bowl @CFAPeachBowl I CAN’T, THO

[Illinois Football @IlliniFootball]

Guess who’s back.

[jake @Zookerstan]

@IlliniMBB