● Dan English ●

40-something fat bloke, married, kids, cats and a dog... Bit of a nerdy twat.

[● Dan English ● @0dd1]

They told her to dial 999 and ask for an ambulance.

For her stubbed toe.

[● Dan English ● @0dd1]

@EastEnglandAmb Thought you might enjoy this... My adult daughter stubbed her toe today. It's bruised and swollen, and I told her to strap it up. She popped to her local pharmacy to buy some cotton wool, and asked if they could help her strap it up.

[● Dan English ● @0dd1]

@MSEHospitals Morning Basildon Hospital! Very hard to rebook an appointment with Children's Outpatients (due to sickness and upset tummy) when no one answers the phone. Twelve calls made since 0900, no calls answered.

[● Dan English ● @0dd1]

@virginmedia Having a nightmare here (SS164UY) of late, Broadband has been a bit wonky, but this morning since 4am, it has been next to zero service. Service Status page says it won't be fixed til the 17th? Any news on what's happening or if it will be resolved sooner?

[● Dan English ● @0dd1]

@ForzaHorizon5UK @AbandonedTroll

[● Dan English ● @0dd1]

@CroftyF1 Despite the arts & crafts and number chat, what we really need is for you to get @tedkravitz to share his cookie recipe!

[● Dan English ● @0dd1]

Aaah it was this!
Santa and Tractors!

[● Dan English ● @0dd1]

What the hell is going on in and around #Pitsea #Vange #Basildon CONSTANT horns of cars and buses and vehicles honking and beeping! Been happening for the last ten-fifteen minutes!

[● Dan English ● @0dd1]

@DaveP2611 @This_Feeling @bridspa I relevant again! 😁

[● Dan English ● @0dd1]

I go through knives like it's going out of fashion!

@DaveP2611

[Harts Of Stur @HartsOfStur]

We are giving you the chance to win a Samura PRO-S Lunar Set of 3 Kitchen Knives!

To enter, tag at least one friend and follow us!

Giveaway ends 08.09.24 at 23:59pm. Winners announced 09.09.24.

UK only.
Over 18s only.
T&Cs apply.

#SamuraCooking #Samura #Competition #Giveaway

[Pocket Tactics @PocketTactics]

We've teamed up with @Stride_PR to bring you a @rootsofpacha giveaway!! Enter here for your chance to win one of six codes, and start your stone-age farming adventure on #NintendoSwitch 🪓🦣

🔽 https://t.co/gdzlgNsFBs

[Pocket Tactics @PocketTactics]

Fae Farm is an adorable experience and one of our favorite farming games - float down into our
@FaeFarm #giveaway and enter for a chance to win a free #NintendoSwitch code!🧚‍♀️

🔽 https://t.co/wtBnUic17m

[● Dan English ● @0dd1]

@BethRigby Basildon South having problems!

[● Dan English ● @0dd1]

@KayBurley Basildon South having shenanigans!

[Matt Hemley @MattHemley]

Statement from producers of Player Kings following Ian McKellen’s fall:

[● Dan English ● @0dd1]

@DaveP2611

[Free Steam Games✨ @SteamGamesPC]

🎁GIVEAWAY: HUMANKIND Steam Key

Shape history in HUMANKIND™. Combine cultures and conquer!

Rules to enter:
✅Follow me & @anycdkey
☑️Retweet & tag a friend

⏳Ends in 3 days
📧DM me to sponsor a giveaway like this.
#Humankind #HumankindGame #Giveaways #GameGiveaways #SteamGame

[● Dan English ● @0dd1]

@Ryedene So, you send a message to the parents about a wasp nest, and in the next paragraph...

"Please Do Not Buzz"

Comedy gold 🌟

[● Dan English ● @0dd1]

@SteamGamesPC @DCaptainHawk Really want to win this one!

[Free Steam Games✨ @SteamGamesPC]

🎁𝗚𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗔𝗪𝗔𝗬 "HUMANKIND™ Definitive Edition" ($98,94) #Steam

1⃣Follow me & @DCaptainHawk
2⃣Subscribe to Soothing_Scape Music Channel on Youtube
3⃣Reply to the post with a screenshot confirming subscription
💟Like + ♻️RT
⏰24H /🏆1 Winner.
#GIVEAWAY #SteamKey