Melissa Riordan

An observer and active participant in the human experience.

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

Jess is dressed like every girl at winter formal in 2001, down to the body glitter and earings. #thebachelor #BachelorNation

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

@TVietor08 CongratuFUCKINGlations!!! 🎉🎉🎉 OMG! The best news to happen to the best people I've never met. So happy for you and Hannah! ❤️❤️❤️💕💕💕

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

Is it wrong that I want a Genevieve+Aaron reality show? I would watch that shit every week. As long as it doesn't end like Sid+Nancy... #bachelorinparadise

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

Ok, these girls out here on the beach laying traps for men like "Why didn't you tell me not to go on this date I already agreed to? You must not care about me because you're not being an agro, possessive tyrant!" #bachelorinparadise Really? Immaturity at it's finest.

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

While I was hiking the PCT this year, I'd drop out of service range for days at a time. When I'd reach a town and take my phone off airplane mode I'd have 15 text messages... one from my mom, 14 asking for money for someone's campaign. This is out of control.

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

FYI whoever is hiring these firms that spam political constituents, I just searched my email for #DCCC and deleted at least (not exaggerating) 1,000 emails from this year alone. This is making me less inclined to donate in the future.

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

Please don't waste my time with Jared and Ashley's date. I truly do not care, this is boring AF. Someone just said Casey is single and I need to know why he's not with Brittany???! #BachelorInParadise

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

Biggest plot twist on #BIP is Genevieve and Shanae's new BFF energy. Could never have predicted this. #BachelorInParadise

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

@trinawatters Thank you for reminding me that this happened! 😆

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

Not gonna lie, I would love to see Serene and Brandon get together and stay together. I stan them as a couple so hard! #BIP #bachelorinparadiseabc

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

Soldier Field has turned into a marsh. Perfect football playing conditions. What could possibly go wrong... #NinersvBears #soldierfield

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

Gabby is so emotionally intelligent. I need her to be the next Bachelorette. Clayton doesn't deserve her. #TheBachelorABC #BachelorNation

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

E (4yrs) said to me today, "Princes need to always handsome, but boyfriends do not." #shitkidssay

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

Is Clayton morally opposed to buttons??? Why is every shirt he wears a zip up? I'm so confused. #TheBachelor

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

The show became significantly more enjoyable to watch once Shanae was eliminated. Please keep her off my T.V. screen. #TheBachelor

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

I don't give a sh*t what Shanae has to say. She said enough. I don't think we missed anything. She was not edited unfairly. She showed us who she was, I really don't care what else she wants to say to try and save face. #TheBachelor #getatherapist

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

I just signed a @theactionnet petition: REI, Stop Union Busting!. Sign here: https://t.co/hpf3aOQPuN

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

Clayton is so undiscerning, it's exhausting to watch him being so easily manipulated by the women around him. I hope he's learning something watching this back. #TheBachelorABC

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

I love when it rains in L.A.! No, really, there's no sarcasm here, I truly love it. 🌧

[Melissa Riordan @0melli_mel]

I am so sad to see @MarlenaWesh go home! I want to see more of her! Make her #TheBachelorette Bring her on the Kaitlyn+Tayshia hosting team! More Marlena please! #TheBachelorABC