//offline

[normal person @arianadotgov]

they’re going to make it legally mandatory to have one gay son and one thot daughter

[le.hl @0xleegenz]

Live footage of the cruise ship kitchen before the Hantavirus

[le.hl @0xleegenz]

"My intention is to grow with the company"

Me as soon as recieves a job offer with higher pay:

[𝚣𝚎𝚎𝚣 @wtfzeezco]

me when someone tells me to do something but im already doing it

[Jordanreviewsittt @jordanreviewsit]

“Can we hop on a quick call? Easier to explain”

[stickydacat @stickydacat]

Are you allowed to change up your signature bc its boring and old or do they kill you for that

[✶ @uxcel]

why is the pressure to "be the bigger person" always placed on the person who was wronged?

[jonzing. @ehisssss]

as blunt as i may seem, i don’t say half of what i’m thinking

[𝔽𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕜 @Frankdontmiss]

There is nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

[vivi @mooncatvivi]

been passively suicidal for most of my life & never Truly planned for the future bc i didn’t think i’d still be here but now it’s Here & all my bad coping mechanisms are catching up to me & idk what i want to do idk what im passionate ab & idk how to live bc idk if i ever started

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

We’re like four or five tweets away from national secrets

[alfie @alfienxo]

did it hurt? when i told you to google it and i was right

[Robert Sterling @RobertMSterling]

Whoever decided car engines should shut down any time you stop at a red light needs to be put on one of those deportation flights to El Salvador.