enable

tg: @enable0x // BD @SplitNOW

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Dubious activities underway,
planning something big.

[Warren H. Cohn @WarCo1]

Here’s the email to employees:

Team,

Hope everyone’s doing well and enjoying the productivity enhancements from our AI tooling initiative.

Unfortunately, Finance has asked me to clarify a small issue.

It appears someone, and by “someone” I mean apparently all of you simultaneously, managed to spend $500,000,000 on @claudeai usage in a single month.

For context:
•NASA landed on the moon for less.
•We are now the proud owner of approximately 14% of Anthropic.
•Claude personally sent us a thank-you fruit basket.
•Our CFO has entered a fugue state and only communicates through Slack emojis.
•The electricity usage from your prompts briefly dimmed parts of Northern Virginia.
While we appreciate innovation, there are concerns that:
•“Can you make this email sound slightly warmer?” did not require 11,400 generations.
•Asking Claude to “rewrite this in the style of Succession, Hemingway, and Tony Soprano combined” may have been excessive.
•One employee appears to have used Claude to generate “a quick list of lunch options” that somehow consumed the GDP of a small island nation.

Going forward, please observe the following guidelines:
1Do not upload the entire internet into Claude “for context.”
2If your prompt begins with “simulate every possible outcome,” reconsider.
3Claude should not be used to:
◦settle fantasy football disputes,
◦write your wedding vows 97 times,
◦generate revenge edits of your ex’s LinkedIn bio,
◦or ask “what if Rome had WiFi?”

Most importantly:

If you see the message:

“This request may require additional datacenter construction”

…please stop immediately and contact IT.

Thank you all for your cooperation during this challenging yet technologically groundbreaking time.

Warm regards,
Management

P.S. Whoever prompted:
“Generate every possible PR angle for every company founded since 1983”
…we just want to talk.

[JUNK BOND ANALYST @junkbondanalyst]

Swatch x Audemars Piguet

[Defileo🔮 @defileo]

https://t.co/kjZc6jqWFG

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@iTrapKeys @splitnow Legend.

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Something tells me this precious metal run isn’t over…

India has officially moved off the LBMA standard to price their gold & precious metals. With roughly 30% of the global gold supply held in Indian households, this will easily wake up billions of dormant capital considering they now have the power to price their own metals.

Send it higher.

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Spliggas on top 🐙

[SplitNOW @splitnow]

The Future of Privacy - Now on @AxiomExchange

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@iTrapKeys @splitnow @AxiomExchange Top splig

[Damian Player @damianplayer]

there seriously only 2-5 million people using AI for coding. think about that for a second.

we are going to run the world lol

[Coinbase 🛡️ @coinbase]

An overview of our Q4 and full year 2025 financial results.

With something extra to keep you focused.

[The Kobeissi Letter @KobeissiLetter]

BREAKING: Coinbase, $COIN, unexpectedly reports a large quarterly loss, posting quarterly EPS of -$2.49 compared to expectations of $0.96.

The company posted a net loss of -$667 million last quarter.

[zāād al-Ma’aād @Alghurabaaaaaa]

Have you forgotten O servant of Allah?

[Salahu @salahudeen33]

Those who will go straight to paradise from their graves without judgement

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Lowkenuinely insane how polymarket has become a part of modern era warfare

[MilliΞ @llamaonthebrink]

>be israel
>have intel but not 100% sure
>need confirmation

>open polymarket
>load mossad wallet # 69
>100% win rate
>only bets on israeli military ops

>max bet: “iran will be attacked by jan 31”

>wait

>iranian intelligence panics
>telegram explodes
>air defenses quietly moved

>intel confirmed, thanks for playing

>if nothing happens
>“load nothing ever happens meme”

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@Anthony69995093 @a_eman24 u dedicate time every day, without fail, to share your views on islam.

let’s step back and imagine u had used that time to pick up more shifts at the local mcdonalds, you’d be miles ahead of where ur at right now! life changing opportunity for u get to work young buck

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@iTrapKeys @splitnow opp pack

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don’t even get me started on $BMT

-91% from ath

down only charts will expose many teams😕

[Bubblemaps @bubblemaps]

don't even get me started on $BRETT

80% bundled at launch

time nodes will expose many teams

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@ArchDAOfi @base motion

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@iTrapKeys @bubblemaps same day delivery faster than amazon 🥱