Ashley Frederick

sarcastic observer.
mother of a five year-old teenager.
master of netflix.

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

#TornadoSeason in Oklahoma is our version of the Olmpics. My sprint times to the shelter are getting ridiculously good.

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

On the last day of my son being five, he asked for a tattoo. #momlife #icanthandlethis #thingskidssay

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

Just tried to pay for a coffee with my insurance card. #isitfridayyet #momlife

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

Adulthood: forgetting what you were tweeting as you tweet it. I'm pretty sure it was interesting though. #monday

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

It's times like these, when I lock myself out with no bra and shoes, that I like to ponder life. #classy #notmyday

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

Watching me check @edsheeran ticket prices today had to be the most hilarious/sad thing my coworkers will see all week. #poor #nexttime

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

#teacherproblems #momlife

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

I love how during this beautiful time of the year it always takes me a minute to decide if the spiders in my house are real. #Halloween

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

I just tried to sing. My son told me to put a song on instead. #kidsarehonest #momlife

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

I seriously cannot find the "#nofilter #nomakeup " filter on instagram, but I know your face isn't that contoured naturally.

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

The inability to stay up late without feeling like death the next morning has made me painfully aware of my age. #old #needsleep

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

Watching my kid trying to lick ketchup off of his elbow is pure gold. #momlife #gross

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

The fun thing about 2010 is now being able to track my relationships by the song lyrics I posted #Awkward #thatwasathing #music

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

My son just asked me to look at his chest hair. #BoyMom #momlife

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

Just caught my five year old trying to speak parseltongue. #HarryPotterForever

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

6 months or 60 years. No punishment for this monster will last as long as the trauma for the victim. #StanfordSurvivor

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

#TaylorSwift has a year off and a breakup to dwell on. This next album will be epic.

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

Listening to my son's prayers tonight

Dear Jesus, please give me a sweet tea volcano...

#Prayer #Southern #goals

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

I'm strongly fighting the urge to tell the girl with the tramp stamp that her tights have a huge hole on the butt. #hilarious

[Ashley Frederick @1130Fred]

I asked my son to take off his clothes so I could change them. He preceeded while singing "bow chicka wow wow" #thingskidssay