Nick

everybody poops.

[Nick @175titos]

girls will throw a 300 person party and play music out of the tv

[Nick @175titos]

Coach told me to work on my hole game. Bitch, you ain’t see me in the showers?!

[Nick @175titos]

I’m not fat I have good marbling

[Nick @175titos]

Manny: does a nice thing
Me: “Thanks, Manny! Or, should I say, Manny thanks…”
Manny (stolid): swiftly slams his unprotected forehead against the edge of the counter until he’s physically unable to any longer

[Nick @175titos]

I compost and I’m better than you

[Nick @175titos]

women hurry for subway seats like they been at work or something…

[Nick @175titos]

me showing the DJ what he should play next

[Nick @175titos]

I don’t kiss ass bro I eat it

[Nick @175titos]

Ahhh yes, Bartholomew Cheech and Tommy Chong.

[Nick @175titos]

you think you could specialize in like both gynecology and proctology?

[Nick @175titos]

If I was a coffee drink I’d be a low-fat creamer

[Nick @175titos]

David Attenborough would describe me as a “late-night ritual feeder”

[Nick @175titos]

everyone works with a dude who could secretly be a member of Empire of the Sun

[Nick @175titos]

It might be time I accept that I’m not gonna grow anymore

[Nick @175titos]

I wanna know what Trump’s doing about these damn spam calls

[Nick @175titos]

Ping-pong… sure. But, who IS Martin Supreme?

[Nick @175titos]

Day 79 of waiting for my girlfriend to suggest Heated Rivalry

[Nick @175titos]

kinda sucks that, as a non-virgin, I’ll never be sacrificed in an Aztec harvest ritual

[Nick @175titos]

yo go put NBA TV on Kobe’s on pace to drop like 80

[Nick @175titos]

what’s the song that’s like “yours is so veiny… you prolly think this song is about you!”

[Nick @175titos]

toothbrush head?!

elaborate…