Don't let straight people tell you not to "make being gay your personality." Straight people base their entire lives around dating, flings and marriage.
They consistently allow gender and sexuality to influence their friendships & personal relationships.
unpopular take but i genuinely do not care about the small percentage of trans men calling themselves lesbians. i would just assume they have a complex relationship with queerness and even if i didn't understand it, realistically, what material harm is it really doing?