andrew abello

professional amateur

[andrew abello @1909]

https://t.co/fIo2C3XOXN

[andrew abello @1909]

Support me in raising funds and awareness for the DGR by dressing dapper and riding for prostate cancer and men's mental health. https://t.co/KqxBMJrFUq

[andrew abello @1909]

Do any of my friends still use twitter? I'm only reminded about it when someone tries to reset my password and I get a notification.

[andrew abello @1909]

They ran out of "I voted" stickers last night. I almost reached into the box to pull my ballot out in protest.

[andrew abello @1909]

My wife thinks that I spend too much time on my phone and don't pay attention to her. Hold on, she's saying something else now.

[andrew abello @1909]

Do people still make magazine racks for the bathroom or did those go extinct when smartphones were invented?

[andrew abello @1909]

Had to park crooked between 2 a*holes who don't know how to park. Now that they're gone I look like an a*hole.

[andrew abello @1909]

Check engine light came up on the used car I've owned for a month. Turns out I'm low on washer fluid. Close one. #bmw

[andrew abello @1909]

The sun blacks out at 10am on a Monday when I'm at work and it's a "natural phenomenon." When I do that it's a "problem."

[andrew abello @1909]

Black DJ playing corridos at TGIFridays. Only in San Bernardino.

[andrew abello @1909]

Ten attempts to reset my twitter password in the last 10 seconds? Nice try North Korea.

[andrew abello @1909]

I know it's time for bed when I drop my phone on my face.

[andrew abello @1909]

I ordered a medium hot coffee. Turns out it was all the way hot because I still burned my tongue. #adulting

[andrew abello @1909]

"I've never been this hungry in my entire life." - me every two hours

[andrew abello @1909]

If 50% of the my body is water, 100% of that should be coffee by now.

[andrew abello @1909]

Why are tortillas not in the "Hispanic Food" aisle at the grocery store?

[andrew abello @1909]

Bad news: forgot wallet at home somewhere. Good news: I can pay for Starbucks and subway with my phone.

[andrew abello @1909]

Yogurt and whiskey was a bad idea.

[andrew abello @1909]

Question for my friends in interracial relationships: how often do people ask if you want separate checks at the end of dinner?

[andrew abello @1909]

Shoutout to whoever is trying to reset my twitter password.