crashing out because my docs suddenly decided it’s not going to turn three hyphens into an em dash anymore omfg this is genuine heeeeeeeellllllllllllll
he tried to smile when he lost, he tried NOT to smile when he won.
it pains me that he was still smiling and cheerful even though he was the first one to be sent to the ground, despite receiving 20 votes out of 23 trainees (the other 3 was them) and performing better than the other trainees.
and when it was his turn to win, he couldn’t even smile because the atmosphere was so awkward and silent, probably because they didn’t expect him to be ranked #1.
he went through all of that, yet his attitude never changed. he was still so bubbly that you’d NEVER think he had any struggles he was keeping to himself. 😩
#ENHYPEN_SUNOO #선우 #엔하이픈_선우 #SUNOO #キム・ソヌ
as sunoo mentioned his condition to us let me tell again HOW MUCH IM PROUD OF HIM ITS GONNA BE LONG BUT EVERYONE HAS TO REALIZE ONCE AGAIN HOW BRAVE HE REALLY IS😭
he was trainee in that condition and joined iland right before surgery.. his lung capacity was still recovering just singing a single line while executing synchronized choreo would have felt like breathing through a tiny straw. he had to exercise and have 4-5 meals a day to build up his chest wall and so his lungs wouldn't collapse again
doing this while undergoing 10-12 hours of daily trainee and rookie dance practices means his metabolism was burning fuel faster than he could put it in. he was trapped in a cycle of pushing his body to its absolute physical limit BUT mentally it was probably harder😭 every time he felt a slight tightness in his chest a sharp stitch from dancing too hard, or caught a minor cold, a wave of panic would hit: is my lung collapsing again? having that fear looming over you while competing on a survival show and preparing for a high stakes debut is an unimaginable mental burden
as a rookie there is immense pressure never to look weak skip practice or dampen the group's energy. he chose to carry the physical pain of a healing chest and the stress entirely behind the scenes keeping a bright smiling face for the cameras and fans
he wasn't just managing the normal, intense stress of a kpop debut he was literally rebuilding his physical body and lung capacity from scratch on a public stage. it takes an unbelievable amount of mental grit to smile through that so today once again IM SO PROUD OF YOU SUNOO❤️
i want to write something with heavy angst sooooo bad you have no idea 😭 i already have a plot touching similar tropes to this one but it’s been giving me major headaches trying to outline it. this is reallyyyy good though i love it!!!