Sometimes I wonder how people can love other people so desperately. How? Just how? I can barely love my own self. Like..,how can I possibly love someone else right?
I'm not striving for anything. It's like there are variety of flavours and I can taste none. I know it's not healthy. I should do something to get better. But what's better? I don't even know what would be better or worse, or how it would feel like?
That little spark of will is getting lost.
The will to live. The will to hold on. The will to try to fit in. The will to truly laugh. The will to find my own self again. The will to die. The will to cry. It's been a while I haven't felt any of these, or I've felt all of these.
I try to live ,not just exist and partially I could live in some moments but I was never enjoying it. I was never enjoying those moments of living. I've thought about dying and it's one of the good options. It doesn't mean I seriously want to die tho. I'm not striving for that.
I would like to say thank you to everyone that has supported me throughout this amazing journey, especially to my fans who I owe my life to. Love and adore you and see everything you do for me. ❤️