1FunnyQuotes

is a family friendly funny quote site founded in 2011 and has now grown to a collection of over 18,000 funny quotes & jokes!

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Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money. http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Robin Williams #Jokes

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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Groucho Marx

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Oh, why could I not be made of stone, like thee! http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Charles Laughton #Jokes

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Admitting Error clears the Score, And proves you Wiser than before. http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Arthur Guiterman #Jokes

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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Tim Allen

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I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body. http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Elayne Boosler #Jokes

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My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. Groucho Marx

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The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with. http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Marty Feldman

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The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Will Rogers #Jokes

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The more things change, the more they remain the same. http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Alphonse Karr #Jokes

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Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq #Jokes

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I absolutely realize that a celebrity spokesperson is not ideal. http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Janeane Garofalo #Jokes

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I missed the boat when I was doing Late Night. http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Chris Elliott #Jokes

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Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative. http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Maurice Chevalier #Jokes

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Chuck Norris can speak Braille. http://t.co/pQA05YG8sA #FunnyQuotes

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I'm bigger than you and higher up the food chain. Get in my belly. http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Mike Myers #Jokes

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You would have loved the gift I didn't bother getting you. http://t.co/U24O0s7Yj0 #Jokes

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I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Steven Wright

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Middle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms. http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Irvin Cobb #Jokes

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The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer. http://t.co/U24O0rQmUq Chris Farley