Wife: βWhat are the scratch marks on your neck?
Husband: Me and the guys went kayaking when out of the blue a seal appeared and slapped me on my neck with an Octopus!!!
Wife: Do you honestly think I'm stupid enough to believe something as ridiculous as that?"
A three-year-old girl has been hailed "an absolute hero" after she kept her two-month-old baby brother alive for days following their parents' murder-suicide
https://t.co/MVaAlmiq4A
Watford legend John Barnes is at Vicarage Road
He treated the fans to a half-time performance of World in Motion π
πΉ via @emma_saund
#WatfordFC
https://t.co/veupsfYQdK
@aidweir83 Oh right the 20premiership titles weβve won ya mean... keep diggin m8 use wudnt know were to start πππππππππππππ
@aidweir83 Wonβt waste ya time but in the same sentence you just have... WOW fuckin too easy... the lights have defo gone to your heads.. I really hope use fuck it up again... I canβt wait for the shit Iβm guna splash out
Wow
Jus fuckin Wow
How the fuck as Salah got away with another dive
Fuckin disgrace...
If Liverpool manage to win the league this year it will only be remembered for the wrong reasons
@phil_selby@GaryLineker@gazjones80 All I do it worry about MUFC at the minute... still have. Very gud chance of finishin 3rd an Handing LFC the league on weds...
But Iβd rather keep Herrera than hav diving Salah in my team