Mommin Aint Easy

Mom (x2). Wife. Drinker. Professional museum nerd. Chaos ensues. #momlife

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who got a blue cup when she asked for a blue cup but what she really wanted was a green cup.

[Katie&Polly @PodBangtan]

This week - Episode 2 of #RunBTS, let’s get it!!! Check out our new #PodBangtan episode: https://t.co/rgD7c8vV4c #ToddlerArmy #BTS #ARMY

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

Husband: How much time is left?
Me: Maybe 5 minutes? Just until it’s browned.
H: ... in the half.
Me: Oh I have literally no idea I’m just here for the dip.

#SuperBowlLV #isthishowyoufootball #gosports #bothteamsaretryingreallyhard

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

Alexa: Based on your order history, you may be running low on decorative pillow covers solid soft cozy velvet throw pillow covers for home New Years Christmas decorations 18x18 pack of 2 would you like to reorder?

Me:

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

Serious question. Why do Boomers use voice to text so much?

[Wanda Sykes @iamwandasykes]

So, are we completely out of rubber bullets and tear gas?

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

I hope every terrorist at the capitol right now is prosecuted for treason.

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

I am getting VERY good at hide and seek. Mainly because the better I hide the longer I can scroll on my phone in peace. And my kids still think we’re playing together. #winwin #momlife #literallystillhiding

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

Dad: What does Santa eat?
3: Reindeer blood!
Dad: That’s disgusting.
3: It’s much better when it’s cooked.

Y’all. Y’all.

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

It just came to my attention that my husband thought our plan was to buy the 3 year old boy a rug for Christmas. So that’s weird.

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

Ok but really why do I ever eat anything besides cheese for dinner? It’s literally never as satisfying. #cheeseloversunite

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

Can someone please explain to me the etymology of the word “twig”? K thanks.

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

Every year I think I’m going to be so cool and chill and let the kids help decorate the tree. Every year at least one person ends up crying and I end up downing a bottle of champagne.

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

How lucky for Trump that there is only widespread corruption and voter fraud in those states he might lose.

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

Ok Joe and Kamala, you’ve been emailing me 6 times a day for months. I need an email now. Please and thank you. 🇺🇸

[Eron (Re-Education) @professordarwin]

I heard a good question today...

Why is murder an appropriate response to property damage

But property damage isn't an appropriate response to murder?

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

@betchelorpod 13 Going on 30

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

But don’t forget the most important step of letting all of the healthy food rot in your fridge.

[Stephanie Ortiz @Six_Pack_Mom]

My favorite dinner to serve the family is the one where I plan a healthy, tasty dinner & shop for it, then run out of time and motivation to cook it & order a pizza instead.

[Mommin Aint Easy @1happydisaster]

In today’s adventures of #whymykidiscrying: I told him he can’t ride a baby goose.