Your girlfriend doesn’t want heart shaped jewelry, I promise you. If you read this and still think she wants something heart shaped, I am willing to help you find something that isn’t ugly. This is my act of service to my fellow women.
Me: Who is this lady and why is she liking all of my photos?
Her Insta bio:
Wife💍 • Mama 👶🏻 • Health 🥗 • Just trying to be better than yesterday 💪🏻 join my journey here👇🏼
Ahhhh never mind
Yesterday I asked my patient:
Me: “Do you have any allergies?”
Patient: “The flu shot.”
Me: “What is your reaction?”
Patient: “I was sick with the flu all winter last year after I got that shot... I must be allergic.”
Me: “I’m gonna stop you right there....”
Signs you’re officially an adult:
1. Back pain
2. Always tired
3. Would rather stay home than go
out
4. Everyone younger than you is
annoying
5. Constant anxiety