Todd Gaines

I give head before I give favors, and I don't even give my best friends head. So, your chances of getting a favor? Slim. // RP 18+ // #GoAU #BPRP

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- What the /fuck/ is 'poutine'? //

@_ThankYouKindly

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- dripped from his hair to the counter with a plop.} This is the room service menu? {nodding slowly} Can I ask you a question? --

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- first.} I have a reservation.

"Mister Gaines?" {Stepping up to the counter, he ducked his head, wincing inwardly as melting snow --

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- thinly and nodded, tight hold on his temper the /only/ thing keeping him from inserting the polar bear directly into the idiot, ass --

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- Stop! Can I help you?"

{Gaze flickering towards the counter, eyes narrowing at the sight of a cheerful man in plaid, he smiled --

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- taxidermied polar bear.} Wonderful. Canadian décor. {muttering} Now I'm really going to fucking kill him.

"Hi there! Welcome to the --

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- the tinkling bell setting his teeth on edge, he stamped the snow from his boots, looked up and stilled; staring into the face of a --

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- inside of this place wouldn't be so bad. Maybe it bordered on normal? Or whatever was Canadian for normal?

Shouldering open the door, --

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- {huffing} Canadians.

{Blowing on the tips of his fingers, he hurried up the stairs, telling himself that maybe, just /maybe/ the --

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- Canadian neck, push your fucking polite face into a pile of Tim's fucking Bits, and hold you down until you stop fucking smiling. --

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- booking him into a cutesy Bed and Breakfast was a fucking good idea.}

{under his breath} I'm going to take you by your fucking --

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- hanging over the door and smiled; mentally running through all the different ways he could end the Guest Services Agent who thought --

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

I'm going to kill him.

{Standing on the front steps of the whimsically named "Snowshoe Stop," he stared up at the titular snowshoes --

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

You're not the boss of me. https://t.co/A8WUgB83Yt

[Your Life Coaches @LIFECOACHERS]

Don't stick your dick in a pumpkin, Todd.

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

{smirks} Rude. https://t.co/TqtAZqnjY9

[Your Life Coaches @LIFECOACHERS]

Good morning. It is Oct. 8, 2015. Affirmation: "I'm at peace with myself & the world. Except for Todd. There will never be peace with Todd."

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- fingers impatiently on the glass} Canadians. // @_ThankYouKindly @LickMyBlade @BlueTattoo_ @NoRealSelf @_Pipefitter @TheirNumber1Fan

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- with Tim's bits, /I'd/ get on that. Now. {Chin dropping to his chest as the counter attendant stumbled away, he sighed; drumming his --

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- people. Not crazed, perpetually fucking smiling morons. So, if you don't want to find out if it's actually possible to kill someone --

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- Well put. What I /want/ is a hotel. Not a polar bear infested, peppy, fucking maple syrup scented hotel. An /actual/ hotel. For --

[Todd Gaines @20FcknHits]

-- "Um..." --