Twenty Something

Just trying to learn the basics of living: how to cook vegetables, pay a credit card bill, and find a life purpose. To be an adult and whatnot.

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

Startup idea: an app that predicts if what you're planning on saying to me will make me angry.

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

I had a dream that I could appease my mother without even leaving my apartment. And then I got an email that @Uber is giving free flu shots.

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

Startup idea: a speedy mac and cheese delivery service.

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

If you wouldn't smell it, don't drink it. That's my milk motto.

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

My apartment's heat is broken (in 18 degree weather), and I hear an animal running around my vents. Good work.

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

Eating captain crunch in bed. It's like a midnight snack but for people who go to sleep at 8 ;)

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

Got another babysitting job! Life dreams do come true!

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

@BMDdan Will try! Got 7 more...

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

I do think that laundry is overrated.

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

It may or may not be because I have been known to eat Cheez-its for dinner.

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

@mindykaling what is the purpose of life in your 20's?

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

If I was on Orange is the New Black, my prison name would be Cheez-It. @OITNB

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

Using an old sponge to clean dishes will give you the runs. Trust me. Mom says toss it at 3 days, max.

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

If only I knew.

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

But hey, look on the bright side. I know Group Theory and can sort of understand Nietzsche.

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

And no, graduating from a private university ranked in Forbes' top 20 did not teach me how to go about finding that dream job.

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

I'm looking for a meaningful job, but one that agrees with certain habits such as organic milk, yoga, and decent haircuts.

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

Mmmm... can't you just smell the crisping Eggo waffles?

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

I have decided that, in addition to a dishwasher, I would also like to have a toaster when I grow up.

[Twenty Something @20somethingyr]

One cannot receive too many texts from one's mom if they come with pictures of the dogs.