Sarah Tess

Real life. Mom. Wife. Career. From pajama jeans to stilettos and everything in between.

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

It’s Friday night and the newest episode of #SpeakeroftheHouseVote comes out at 10pm. Who’s figured out how to make it into some sort of drinking game?

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

If we learned 2 things in the 90s, it was that there were 2 things that would surely kill us. 1 was not drinking enough milk and the other was toxic shock syndrome. A tampon left in for a mere minute over the 8 hour mark is a ticking time bomb & you can’t convince me otherwise

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

@RepThomasMassie Maybe - just maybe - a parent who would otherwise agree with your f***ed up ideology will see this, mere days after yet another school shooting, and choose not to vote for you.

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

I’m sorry I take 26 hours to respond to texts now. That’s just where we’re at. #agingmillennial

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

I don’t love that @amazon package delivery people don’t head out for the day until well after noon. But I also find it so relatable.

#Amazon #AmazonPrime

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

Never not thinking about that one time I spent hours learning how to solve a Rubik’s cube.

#rubikscube #90sKids

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

Never not thinking about this microwave contraption from the 90s that allowed you to instantly cook a whole 3 course meal all at once in under 2 mins. #90s #90skids #tupperware #90slove #90skid

[ACLU @ACLU]

We just filed an amicus brief with the Superior Court of Los Angeles County — alongside the @ACLU_SoCal and 25 civil rights and disability rights orgs — in support of Britney Spears’ right to choose her own attorney for her conservatorship proceedings.

[Ash @AshweeeW]

90s Leonardo Dicaprio was everything!

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

@Silntquake2 Same.

[Audrey Ratajack @Audrey_Ratajack]

No man will ever be as hot as 1996 Leonardo DiCaprio.

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

I wonder if @DrewBarrymore knows that the PR firm for her cookware line is taking advantage of woman-owned small businesses? #cookwithbeautiful @FYPM_vip

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

@realDonaldTrump *due

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

Wear a mask. Wash your hands. Vote out Donald Trump.

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

@bblock29 @realDonaldTrump Too busy clutching their pearls.

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

@realDonaldTrump Your Regeneron cocktail contains fetal stem cells. So what exactly is your position on Roe v. Wade?

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

@realDonaldTrump You are the biggest political crime in the history of our country.

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

Dear Mrs Goss and Mrs Horvath,
How good was I at 3rd and 5th grades? Asking for myself... since I’m about to be teaching them.

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

@kerrywashington Low rise jeans. The kind that you can’t even wear underwear with.

[Sarah Tess @23OrNot23]

Being a first time mom is hard. Until you have more kids and reflect back on the time that you only had one and think, “Damn. That was easy.”