Joe James

I retweet things you should consume.

[CheezeTalk_Pod @CheezeTalk_Pod]

Jim Nantz: "Tony, keys to the game?"

Romo: "I'm not legally allowed to have those right now, Jim."

[💔❤️‍🩹 @hndrxx_34]

Position players to reach 7 fWAR on July 25th or earlier, since 2010:

2018 Mike Trout
2025 Aaron Judge
2026 PETE CROW-ARMSTRONG

End of list. #Cubs @WatchMarquee

[AT @BaseballWRLD_]

The 1st player in baseball to reach 7.0 fWAR:

Pete Crow-Armstrong.

[Shehan Jeyarajah @ShehanJeyarajah]

Shoutout to Jaylen Brown. He complained so much about being a second option that he became a fourth option instead 😭😭😭

[DoBBy @LargestAdultSon]

there’s like one clip a year that makes me laugh every time i see it

[Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

I was offered sex today by a 26-year-old woman. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner on my 𝕏 profile.

Of course I declined because of my strong morals and willpower, which is just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner now available scented with lemon or vanilla.

[🇺🇸 🦅Simple Man 🦅🇺🇸 @Soaringeagle45]

Shout out to the raccoon who got into my trash last night and left the Wendy’s wrapper in the driveway that I was hiding from the wife because we are “eating healthy this week”…

You’re an asshole!

[Lloyd Legalist @LloydLegalist]

These little freezer pops from the Chinese place are freaking awful.

Do NOT recommend.

[NotKennyRogers @NotKennyRogers]

Refusing to air a presidential speech to the nation about election fraud seems like a horrible way to convince people you weren't in on the election fraud.

[Michael (Hedge Fund Manager) @HedgeFundFomo]

I hate my clients

[🖤 Buy Physical Media 🖤 @VHSDVDBLURAY4K]

The odds of this happening are like 1 in 525M+

[Old Salty Marine @BamaSaltyMarine]

To stop ants coming in to your house leave a saucer of milk outside.

The adult ants drink it and it has an effect on ant reproduction.

The young are born without toes so they can't climb in to your cavity walls.

This effect is called lack toes in toddler ants.

You’re welcome!

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

How do I know if I have regular diarrhea from Taco Bell or the explosive parasitic diarrhea from Taco Bell? 🌮 🔔

[Nugs @Nugjokes]

Lowkey would not know if I had the Diarrhea parasite or not

[Mesi @mesidotcom]

I hate that AI doesn't mean Allen Iverson anymore.

[Amelia @amelia_tweetz]

Someone please explain to me how most of my neighbors are living at or below the poverty line, yet have somehow acquired 12 hours’ worth of fireworks.

[THAT SOUTHERN DUDE @TSDmemes]

Me and the neighborhood dads preparing to light a paycheck’s worth of fireworks after drinking all day