Cuntgirls

No longer roommates, still soulmates and still obscene, offensive, and hysterical. We black out. Boom.

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

My leg hair is longer than my eyebrow hair. You do the math.

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

Things I am buying at the store: frosted sugar cookies, all the wine, batteries for my vibrator.

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

I AM FREAKING THE ACTUAL FUCK OUT

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

2 of the 3 guys I dated in high school are married now. W. T. F.

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

Just realized how awkward it is to be an adult and eat a Popsicle in front of my mom ......

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

Me watching Miley at the vmas

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

So when people ask what's wrong with Miley now does her best friend Leslie still say "oh she's just being Miley" ??

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

The face that "bacon beer" is in my recent phone searches is both genius and sad

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

If I was @mileycyrus I would have raped @robinthicke on stage. But that's just me

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

Not even three pm and buzzed !? Bitch I might be

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

How am I ever gonna have a baby if I can't drink for nine months ?

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

Scratch that. Not enough coffee in the world*

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

There's not enough coffee in my system to listen to your stupid fucking story. #sorrynotsorry

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

If you're not a person that needs fiber, fiber granola bars are just a delicious fast acting laxative ..........

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

You are all cordially invited to kiss my ass today !

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

Why don't they call iPhone battery apple juice ?

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

Are people that don't like cheese anti Christ ?

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

I get really annoyed when people don't understand how funny I am.

[Cuntgirls @2BlondeCunts]

Just a run of the mill convo with my cousin

[Gay BFF @GayBFFSays]

The number of times I've considered calling in sick just so I don't have to get out of bed: the limit does not exist.