Sara Holton

Embrace everything

[Sara Holton @2BlueWombats]

I think our abundance of beautiful wildlife is why we get so many tourists.

[Jeff Wysaski @pleatedjeans]

I can't wait for humans to start living on other planets bc it means less people on earth goodbye good riddance finally a good parking space

[birdsrightsactivist @ProBirdRights]

why do political correctness say "happy holiday" instead of "merry bird times it bird o'clock it's a very birdy birdmas biiiiiiiiirdddddddd

[Myles @itsamemyleo]

"wow the moon looks bright tonight!", but its the sun, and you havent slept again

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

me: what if instead of math we teach em how to roll cigarettes
[parents at the PTA meeting start to whisper] i don't think that guy has kids

[birdsrightsactivist @ProBirdRights]

i would never plagaurgize, or my name isnt Williem Shakspeer

[Sara Holton @2BlueWombats]

Tuned into the Republican National Convention tonight, and all I saw was a super intense harmonica solo. Can I vote for it for president?

[Sara Holton @2BlueWombats]

I'm a Sweet Transvestite when it comes to yoga. #RockyHorror #RealWorkout

[Sara Holton @2BlueWombats]

I'M SO EDGY https://t.co/6R0YEp9yw4

[Sara Holton @2BlueWombats]

One of these days when I go to a restaurant and the waiter asks me what I'd like to drink I'm going to ask if they have Clorox. #Reactions

[Sara Holton @2BlueWombats]

I don't remember this, but by Jove, I wish I did. https://t.co/843FH4lqm0

[Sara Holton @2BlueWombats]

"SOMEONE TOOK MY PLACENTA!" #ThingsShoutedAtHoltonGatherings

[Sara Holton @2BlueWombats]

I was so fire https://t.co/HFaoVDrwOT

[Sara Holton @2BlueWombats]

World naked gardening day. When people can trim both types of bushes at the same time.

[Sara Holton @2BlueWombats]

It's still there. https://t.co/XUqQx6x6QZ

[Sara Holton @2BlueWombats]

When you remember you left a decaying mouse body macerating at home,...sorry mom and dad

[Sara Holton @2BlueWombats]

Backstreet's back, Shay's back, and now I'm back. To kill the game. Been a long while, fam. #return

[s-s-s-saboner @uhhsabrinuh]

@2BlueWombats she whipped too hard and hit herself in the face #whathappenedtosaraseye

[s-s-s-saboner @uhhsabrinuh]

@2BlueWombats it isn't even a black eye its PURPLE. #whathappenedtosaraseye

[s-s-s-saboner @uhhsabrinuh]

you should have seen the other guy @2BlueWombats #whathappenedtosaraseye

[s-s-s-saboner @uhhsabrinuh]

maybe she wrestled a shark @2BlueWombats #whathappenedtosaraseye

[s-s-s-saboner @uhhsabrinuh]

@2BlueWombats this just in Sara was in a bar fight #whathappenedtosaraseye

[Sara Holton @2BlueWombats]

When you remember you left a decaying mouse body macerating at home,...sorry mom and dad

[Sara Holton @2BlueWombats]

Time to dig up some bones!

[Sara Holton @2BlueWombats]

Halp