The advice to "never change for a partner" is actually terrible. A genuinely healthy, loving relationship should change you, and you should let it. When you are with someone who truly loves you, they act as a mirror to your flaws. You start communicating better, dropping your selfish habits, and softening your rough edges because you want to be the best version of yourself for them. Refusing to evolve or compromise because "this is just who I am" isn't self-love; it’s stunting your own growth.
A child who grows up hearing about your sacrifices doesn't feel loved. They feel like a debt. Having a child was your decision. Nurturing and protecting them is your responsibility. "Sacrifice" does not belong anywhere in this. Call it that and you have already turned your kids into a burden instead of a gift.