smfb

Sam B. 🦇🐈🦇
she/her.
ACAB.
Burlesque attempter🍾

[smfb @2coffins4sam]

Spot the difference: extra hard version

[swinky @swinkying]

junie b. jones tried to sell me crack cocaine at applebees

[Bobson🌱Dugnutt @f_a_infinityy]

Man Stroker’s Ejacula

[️️𖣂 @calajms]

do y'all ever get pre-annoyed? like u already know someone is about to piss u off?

[eliz @eliza___v]

how it feels spending more than $10 on anything

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

My 5 year plan is to LMFAO :)

[santos-inistas @JDabknee]

so my girlfriend (demisexual!) finally gave me “the pass” to say the word. So here goes nothing —fаggot!

[alexa @alexadoingstuff]

hey I just ran a quick risk analysis and i don’t think i’ll be able to hang tn

[We don't deserve cats 😺 @catsareblessing]

When the cat lies down on the bed, the rabbit immediately comes to him for affection and starts grooming him.

[smfb @2coffins4sam]

@jmurray1717 Yes

[tatum @planetgraves]

If you ever are on the verge of killing yourself just get a cat. Because now you still really want to die but at least you have a box of shit and piss in your house

[BOOP @Pettyyyboop]

I like to throw soy sauce at sad people. Kikkoman while he’s down.

[culture @notgwendalupe]

wanda was so real for this

[Mr. Chau @Srirachachau]

Incredible sound design

[kayak @modelomenace]

them areolas belong on an Italian sandwich

[tabitha arnold @thetolerantweft]

my dog is always trying to run away like... good luck on the road dude who's gonna fix your ear when it gets turned inside out

[maybe: clare @clur19]

man if twitter is this fun when the pope gets chosen, imagine what it’ll be like when IT™️ happens