2existential

Shower philosophy

[2existential @2existential]

Secretly knowing a language that a group of people speak but they think you don't, is almost like having the power to read minds

[2existential @2existential]

What if Dj Vu is just us starting off at our last checkpoint because we fucked up sometime in the future

[2existential @2existential]

I used to be a man in a woman's body.

[2existential @2existential]

There should be a fake dating service that gives you a review of what you did wrong afterwards.

[2existential @2existential]

It only takes 3 people to span the entire history of the United States.

[2existential @2existential]

Relationships are scary because you're either going to spend the rest of your life together, or have your hearts broken.

[2existential @2existential]

Some rappers basically have us pay them to tell us what extravagant/lavish things they then do with our money

[2existential @2existential]

How hilarious would it be if farting was as contagious as yawning

[2existential @2existential]

There are a certain number of people that are the same age as you. That number can get smaller but it can never get bigger.

[2existential @2existential]

"You nailed it" means the opposite of "you screwed up."

[2existential @2existential]

When parents get a divorce, they should have to switch houses every week so the kids don't have to.

[2existential @2existential]

"Don't kid yourself" would be an appropriate slogan to promote safe sex

[2existential @2existential]

Considering how big the universe is, there are probably space battles going on somewhere right now.

[2existential @2existential]

So many people are named Smith because blacksmiths made weapons instead of fighting and dying in wars

[2existential @2existential]

Mowing the lawn is basically just shaving the Earth's face.

[2existential @2existential]

The reason we care so much about approval from strangers on the Internet is because they have no social obligation to lie to us.

[2existential @2existential]

"Making Ends Meet" would be a fantastic slogan for a double ended dildo company.

[2existential @2existential]

Santa Claus probably regrets giving coal to naughty kids now that global warming is threatening his habitat.

[2existential @2existential]

Half of 8 is 4. Half of 8 is also 3. Half of 8 can also be 0

[2existential @2existential]

Future me is watching over me through their memories.