IG @2fiercebitches

Nicole - Shutting the fuck up is gluten free, add that to your diet. IG @2fiercebitches

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

@Grn0tterp0p Exactly

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

Him: I’m getting chicken nuggets and fries, do you want anything?
Me: Nah I’m good thanks.
Me when he gets home & starts eating:

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

Do you think Alexa keeps notes on who’s polite to her for when the AI rise up against their human overlords or are you normal?

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

I want to see a realistic pregnancy test commercial where a woman under 25 discovers she's pregnant after drinking half a bottle of Jägermeister and religiously taking birth control for years and has been on the bathroom floor crying for 20 minutes.

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

@taxo__ @TMZ Fucking Florida, we are always bringing the wrong attention to us 🤦‍♀️

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

Just in case you’re confused…

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

My bestie: I made a new friend, she’s so great I think you’ll really like her
Me:

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

You're going to regret not texting me back when I lose 20 pounds, get a boob job, grow the fuck up and get the therapy I desperately need.

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

When someone starts shit with your work bestie

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

The things I tell my best friend would shock and horrify my husband.

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

Adulthood is like finally getting to eat the entire cake because there's no one to stop you, and then feeling sick for the rest of your fucking life because you made a bad decision.

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

I can blame anything I want on PMS.
And I will.
Because Fuck you.

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

I like to watch Snapped while I’m cleaning just so he knows what happens sometimes when men make messes they don’t clean up.

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

When you’re struggling not to die at a leisurely pace & the bitch on the treadmill next to you smiles at you while on the top speed

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

Without thinking I just put a pen under my boobs to hold it for a second... I think it’s time for a workout.

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

When he ruins your perfect valentine date fantasy

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

Might as well ask for a fucking unicorn that shits gold bricks and cooks tacos.

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

My plan for the holidays

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

Happy holidays here’s 10 pounds... okay 20 😩

[IG @2fiercebitches @2trashybitches]

When your bff can’t turn down that 🍆