“Big Jerker” Thorton

World Renound Alcohol Abuser, Ted 2 lover, back porch and your Mom/GF enjoyer. Chronic Dry Beater. Reformed liar. Oiling up.

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

Going to the nursing home to undust my future wife’s box

[emily @wtvrem13]

#AgeGapFall

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

@traderjoeslut I’ll sit this one out

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

@JL0pesFan A favorite but not the first ❤️

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

@rxejxe Aren’t beds meant to be lied in you’re confusing big jerker today

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

@rxejxe And kicking your feet with mouth covered laughs i know

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

@rxejxe Thought October meant octopus

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

I can jerk off on a hotel pillow and they’ll give me a three month deposit back bitch

[abhishek @abhishek_tri]

As an Airbnb host, I’m honestly sad about the new rules.

Starting Nov 20, guests no longer have to clean before checkout.

So I’ve updated my listing:

Cleaning fee: $180
Cleaner arrival fee: $40
Cleaner emotional support fee: $25
“Guest didn’t strip the beds” fee: $35
Trash disappointment fee: $20
Checkout time: 6:15am, yeah even in winters

Nobody is forcing you to do chores.
You’re simply choosing between chores and fees.

Freedom isn’t free.

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

@jaynussv Travis Kelce 44/44.5 yards 🥳🥳🥳

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

@nitalobotomee Fuckin hillbilly

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

Got home and have had my hog out for two hours

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

Finding cold river monsters #TrouserSnake

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

@johnny_danziel Bro ??

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

@lowkeylaners Thanks

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

@Goatyaura @shutuppsarah_ You think she’ll let me hit

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

If this goonie monster fuck was a dog i would have him get to muckin on plutonium covered chocolate grapes

[Jshock @Jshock9nine]

Would you try Reese’s $40 Pie? #mukbang

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

@AinsleyNorris0 Yo tell her to hit me up i need a wedding date

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

Huge Day

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

@dickbuttifier LFG thanks man

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

@jerrickblumpkin Great tweet

[“Big Jerker” Thorton @30secondnut]

@dickbuttifier Can Big Jerker have one