a man becomes free when he realizes he can be anything at any given time
bruce lee said be like water, which means take whatever shape that will make you pass the obstacles in the river
learn to adapt
the final stage is realizing you never needed to carry an identity
Music is hypnosis. You want to โbang hoesโ cause your favourite rapper talks about it. You want to stack bread cause Gucci mane said so. The bass line acts similar to a theta wave which puts your mind in a more suggestive state to absorb this slop. Your wants arenโt even yours. Thousands of lyrics that you know word for word, tone by tone about being depressed, anxious, taking drugs, toxic relationships, casual sex, shooting people, finessing, Puppeteering your life and dragging you deeper into spirit rot, deeper into being w destructive force if life. Go listen to Bob Sinclair - World Hold on and stop consuming soulless slop.
it's summer and of course the whole city is alive.
hoes out to party, guys who got nothing going on are not any different.
i'm in my blacked out room with a fan running on full speed and enough stimulating shit to give me limitless type of focus.
i spend most of my time in my room working. i should feel fomo the most.
but i don't in the slightest bit.
the "fun" lifestyle is just not fun for me.
i dont know when the fuck this happened. one day working just became more fun than anything ever could.
it used to be an excuse to not be social. it used to be defense.
but now its just the way i wanna live.
my boy asked me why i was airing his messages.
my phone has been on dnd for the last 4 years.
but its not that. i genuinely forgot to check because i was too deep down into building.
i didn't say sorry. im not sorry for using my time the way i want to use it. he was not the priority. thats fine.
when i enter my room its like the outside world just gets blocked.
its just me. my desk. my keyboard. and the work.
some random chinese soundtrack running in the back.
blackout curtains does the job. the night is the only time i can focus. might as well engineer it.
but don't think im some musty ass guy. i know how to talk to people. i have people around me.
but they're just not the priority.
but it wasnt always like this.
last summer was different. i was at the deepest point in my life.
i felt fomo to be outside because being alone with my thoughts felt like the most dangerous place ever.
why do you think girls wanna be outside?
why do you think they're posting photos with barely anything covered?
yeah they're hoes. but thats the surface.
none of these people are internally unified.
there's a concept in alchemy called "turning lead into gold"
which is when you take something dirty and make it into something beautiful.
every person has that dirty part of themselves.
the parts they don't want anyone to see. even themselves.
the basement of the brain. the basement is where you throw shit that takes too much space in the house.
you don't wanna see them laying around the house. so you throw them away.
but they dont disappear. obviously.
they get stored there. waiting. collecting dust.
so when you move out, you have to face them again.
and now they're harder to handle. covered in spiderwebs. dust that makes you cough.
guess what?
most people never move out. ever.
which means the shit laying in the basement still takes up space and real estate.
that's what influences your decisions.
the shit laying in that basement. quiet enough to not be heard. loud enough to control every single decision you make.
these hoes or guys who go out and party everyday aint got shit going on.
but that's the whole point.
every entertainment slop around you is built for the sole function of taking peoples minds off that basement.
getting drunk enough that the monitoring finally stops.
so they're finally able to get up from that corner and talk to the girl instead of analyzing like an autist.
am i supposed to feel missed out on this?
imagine being so broken that you'd rather indulge in all this fuckery than sit alone in your peaceful room building something that will pay off massively.
you know what type of fomo i feel?
fear of missing out on working.
once in a while when i get tired i go outside. go to a function. go to smoke in a random parking lot with my boys.
and that only makes me realize how much shit im not missing out on.
disgust is probably morally wrong. but would you rather i pretend?
pretend that these people who cant even sit alone with their thoughts are equal to me?
disgust has worked better than any motivation ever could.
that's the only way to get rid of fomo.
get lost in your work. find the fun in it. make it playful.
then go out and get disgusted by the ones who can't keep up.
It's a Sovereign life.
p.s
the sovereign life is not just some nice name.
it's a lifestyle. a lifestyle where only the rules you choose apply.
i share the secrets to it everyday at midnight.
will you catch the next one?
https://t.co/6Ytmx0JPAG
humility is a performance i can't be asked with. simply put. that's what it is.
i looked myself in the car reflection and told my boy id marry myself if i was a girl.
he didn't know how to respond. i wasnt expecting him to either.
most peoples opinions on you are not opinions.
the world chose what they were as early as 6 years old.
the file they're currently running was closed before they gained consciousness.
it's a projection of the hardware built by a 6 year old thats only purpose was to survive.
decisions. opinions. words.
they're all phony.
built for survival.
when people tell me im delusional i just laugh.
"be realistic"
and who decided your reality?
they don't have an answer. they never do.
because that's the exact question they've been running from their whole life.
"reality" is the limits set in childhood. again.
im not obligated to live inside the cage of what someone else's parents set.
and their parents. and their parents. and their parents.
generational fuckery is probably the right term.
call me narcissistic. call me corny. call me whatever.
anything you say proves my point.
"reality is what you make it" is not just some nice hippy quote.
it's the state you're operating from.
people who win the lottery always lose it. and that's for one single reason only.
lottery doesn't rewire your nervous system. it doesn't change shit about who you are.
a retard becomes a retard with money.
a millionaire goes bankrupt and makes 10x that money again.
because it was never about the money.
it was about what getting it made you become.
so people's opinions are irrelevant. not because it's some "mindset trick"
its because reality is a cage.
a guy stuck on 10k a month can be a mentor for the one stuck at 3k a month.
but for the one making 100k he's just another cage.
smile when they tell you you're delusional.
ask them for the alternative.
laugh when they go "uhh"
they don't know either. nobody knows.
so be delusional. be everything they're telling you is not realistic.
It's a Sovereign life.
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p.s
i go deeper in my newsletter.
https://t.co/6Ytmx0JhL8
a man only truly matures when he stops asking for permission to move.
when he stops needing anyone to confirm what he's doing to see it as valid.
it all starts by asking yourself who or what made you seek for permission in the first place.
trusting your instinct is very overlooked in this game.
the more you trust it, the faster you move.
if you see quitting as an option you have not sacrificed enough for what you're doing.
there comes a point where quitting becomes harder than continuing and you will never understand unless you've felt it.
you don't have choices. you have stories.
a choice gets made in your brain. milliseconds before you gain conscious access to it.
neurons fire inside your skull. makes the decision.
and then you build a conscious story that justifies it.
the decision to swallow the sentence you thought of saying to the girl.
the decision to keep planning because "you dont know enough".
you tell yourself that you don't need bitches. might be true. probably is.
the missing part is that it's far from the reason.
you didn't swallow that sentence that would've made her die laughing because you don't need her.
you swallowed it because your amygdala fired for potential loss before you decided to say it.
and then it weighed it to the potential of making her laugh.
the calculation was "losing my position or making her laugh"
of course, the potential threat weighed much stronger.
so you swallowed it.
told yourself a story about how "you're so detached".
the story was nice. nice enough to let you hold up the mental image you built.
but deep inside something died. and it has been for months.
i was like you.
i isolated myself. always distant enough so that nothing could touch me. sat in the corner analyzing every social dynamic.
and that was a beautiful wall.
"detached operator" was a nice label to keep doing that.
but one day the thing breaking made a crack loud enough i couldn't ignore.
i let opportunities slip.
lost touch with every emotional connection i had towards life.
watched the girl laugh to the other guy who said the exact same thing i thought of saying before i calculated the cost of saying it.
procrastinated working because "i needed more knowledge"
and that felt like intelligence until it didn't.
suddenly every social interaction cost me something.
i woke up with something heavier than tiredness.
something that calculated the threat of being seen before i ever stepped out.
neurons that fired before i told a story about why it did.
but the neurons or the chemicals is not the point.
never was.
the thing that deserves attention is the thing that makes them fire.
the abyss you keep staring into.
the loss that gets weighed before the words gets let out your mouth.
most of the time they never do.
and then if you've went deep enough, you think about why they didn't.
and by that time, another moment has already passed.
days pass by and you stay stuck in your head.
life slips by your hands and all you can do is watch it slip.
your mental image only reinforces it.
"this is just who i am."
"i'm just detached."
"i don't need anyone."
as long as you stay attached to the idea of who you are, you can only keep protecting it.
and you know what that protection looks like by now.
the strongest presence in the room doesn't carry a label.
he knows labels are fleeting.
and once you let go of the need to protect any label, the mental scale disappears.
once there is nothing the protect, only the potential wins enter the calculation.
and at that point it stops being a calculation.
It's a Sovereign life.
Derealization stops having power when you realize what it's protecting.
you've seen less competent people than you do better.
you've seen the ugly guy get the girl.
you've seen the retard get money while you were stuck planning.
and that's the curse of awareness.
at some point you became too self aware and everything you did had to be analyzed.
emotions turned into chemicals.
every childhood memory became the source for things that didn't need it.
conversations replayed. wondering what you could've said. wondering what wound make you react that way.
every input you got became an analysis of your identity.
so you lost touch with it. nothing felt real because nothing was experienced in reality.
analysis came before presence.
and that felt like intelligence for a while.
you learned psychology. you learned what made people react the way they reacted. you learned the patterns.
and none of it was real. that's the brutal part.
you saw the ugly guy get the girl you wanted while you were observing from the outside.
and it didn't make sense. he doesn't know more game than you.
the retard who started getting money knows less about business than you.
because it's not that they know more.
it's that their amygdala doesn't fire threat before moving because it never got developed in that way.
once you became too aware of your wounds, anything you wanted to say or start came with a calculation.
it became a calculation system that fired before you decided to swallow that sentence that would've shifted the entire room dynamic.
you planned about the business instead of starting because that let you hold the "intellectual" label you put on yourself.
your ego never got developed.
it turned inward.
you saw yourself too good and the ego became the therapist, the patient, and the guy who's supposed to hold frame all at once.
the diagnosis was perfect. the read was clean. but none of it was real because it never got translated into reality.
you saw all the things you repressed and then built an ego around it.
the wound stayed the same with a cute label on top saying "intellectual"
and that's the point.
nothing feels real because you make anything real turn into an analysis session in your imagination.
so it stays as something imagined instead of experienced.
you don't have experiences. you have thoughts.
the brutal part of it is that it's not about thinking less.
it's about changing the format of the calculation.
once the calculation starts firing to spot the potential win instead of threats to your identity which you deconstructed yourself, you flow.
you're still self aware. but it stopped being a verdict.
and that's the whole point.
a verdict makes you question identity.
data is just data.
you simply recalibrate without making it a question about if you felt loved at 5 years old.
It's a Sovereign life.
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