Matar Alhaji 💅🏾

Former Table Shaker.

Madame @tub_sauce_ng 🥵

Mrs S.

[Matar Alhaji 💅🏾 @3yesharu]

Arewa men that have been married for 5+ years I think it's time you start looking at us in Batch B. We are due for recruitment but the line is not moving.

[Matar Alhaji 💅🏾 @3yesharu]

2027: BAT wins Elections.

[Matar Alhaji 💅🏾 @3yesharu]

@ogon5ive Na Police Station? 😂😂

[Matar Alhaji 💅🏾 @3yesharu]

@Usouph Mabrook! Allah Ya sanya Alheri, Allah bada zaman lafya.

[MUSTAPHA @angry_ustaaz]

Dear car dealers, inform your buyers about the full extent of the problem with your car. If the duty is fake, disclose it. If the engine is bad, inform them. If the body has been repainted, tell them. If there’s a problem with the gear, let them know. If the car is used, don’t sell it as tear leather, Forget about profit, wealth comes from Allah. He will provide for you from other sources even if you don’t sell the car. Worry about your reputation, the source of your income, and the day you stand in front of Allah, explaining how you deceived someone for worldly gain.

Don’t let ‘sambo’ destroy you.
A little income that is blessed is better than plenty money that is cursed.

[kira 👾 @kirawontmiss]

i have this theory that Tom Cruise is suicidaI and keeps hiding it through these crazy stunts

[Tosan Blessing Harriman (PhD) @TosanHarrimanDr]

From the Abuja international Airport to Gwarinpa, he charged 30k. I begged him that I am a teacher. He refused. Seeing I was getting late, with smothered reluctance I hopped in. On our way I saw the transition in the car and a NIPCO sticker which suggested

[Matar Alhaji 💅🏾 @3yesharu]

@MuneeyTeejay @TalbaSadiq Ah tuh! For inside this marriage tin, ko wa sai an goge mai hadda 😂 leave them!

[Matar Alhaji 💅🏾 @3yesharu]

@angry_ustaaz Allah Ya mata Rahama, Allah Ya Sa ta huta

[MUSTAPHA @angry_ustaaz]

Kana Makkah, Allah Ya kiraka umrah a cikin mutane da yawa da ba a kirasu ba, amma kai Dangote kake kokarin ku hadu da shi sabida ka ji labarin yana Makkah.

Shi Dangoten yazo Makkah domin kai kukanshi wajan Allah.
Kai kuma kana Makkah amma wajan Dangote kake so ka kai kukanka.

Yaaaa Allah 🤦‍♂️

Ga ka da mai badawa amma ka fi son ka karba wajan wanda aka ba.

Man Sagir, ka saki kowa ka kama Allah ka ga abun mamaki wallahi.

Allah Ya sa mu dace.

[Matar Alhaji 💅🏾 @3yesharu]

@angry_ustaaz A kuma hada da zobon da a ka qulla a leda, kuma bikin ma a yi shi daide lokacin harmattan. Dadi kan dadi.

[Matar Alhaji 💅🏾 @3yesharu]

My first mistake was leaving Crèche.

[MUSTAPHA @angry_ustaaz]

Kwana hudu yanzu ba wuta ba ruwa
Ba AC ba fanka
Ba coke mai sanyi ba juice mai ice
Ba Sunnah TV ba Netflix
Ba inverter ba gen

Ko ina Duuuuum!
Wai da ranmu ma kenan

Ina ga ace mutum ya mutu yana kabari
Allah Ya tsaremu daga duhun kabari
Allah Ya tsaremu daga azaban kabari
Allah Ya hadamu da rahamarsa
Allah Ya sa mutuwa ta zamo hutu a garemu

[Matar Alhaji 💅🏾 @3yesharu]

@mubieadam Allah Ya mata Rahama, Allah Ya Gafarta mata, Allah Ya karbi Shahadar ta, Ya kuma raya abinda ta bari a baya, Allah Ya kara maka hakuri da dangana.

[mizukii ✩ @cozymizukii_]

we need bank apps that open without data, for when data suddenly finishes

[Usman Shamaki @aushamaki]

If you live in Abuja, your office has a balcony, you stand on the balcony to make calls or get some fresh air (not sure that exists these days, but OK) and you weigh around 52 - 58kg, please do not stand on the balcony today. Breeze will carry you! I am speaking from experience.

[Usman Shamaki @aushamaki]

There is a strong argument to be made for body odour also being responsible for global warming. I don't know what the argument is, I just know there is a strong argument.

[Jauro XVII @Danjauro_]

A dawo mana da tallafin man fetur kawai.. muna wahalan banza ne wallahi

[Gimba Kakanda @gimbakakanda]

There's a reason you don't see married folks participating in this cooking debate. When marriage truly sets in, you'll realize that cooking is the least important aspect of it.

[Matar Alhaji 💅🏾 @3yesharu]

@naiiimah Yasssss!!! 😂😂😂