Voodoo

I'm talking to a plastic plant. I'm still doing it.

[Voodoo @419BillE]

Realtor- Put in an aggressive offer.

(later)

Me- *writing a note to the owner* Sell me your fucking house or I'll kill you

[Voodoo @419BillE]

It made sense in my head.

[Voodoo @419BillE]

Have you ever seen a mosquito sitting down? Legs and arms stretched out? cuz I just did

[Crazy Vibes @CrazyVibes_1]

My wife passed in March. Forty-two years of marriage, and then just... silence.

The house felt wrong. Too quiet. Too still. My daughter kept saying I needed "something to care for." I kept telling her I was fine.

I wasn't fine.

One Sunday, I drove to the Arizona Humane Society just to walk around. No intention of adopting anything. Just needed to be somewhere that wasn't my living room.

The volunteer stopped me near the senior wing. "These two have been here eleven months. We waived their adoption fee last week. Still no takers."

Pepper was solid black with a grey muzzle—eight years old, arthritis in his back legs. Salt was pure white with one brown eye and one blue, deaf as a post, same age. Brothers from the same litter, surrendered when their owner went into hospice care.

Eleven months. In Phoenix. In a concrete run with no air conditioning half the year.

"Why won't anyone take them?" I asked.

The volunteer shrugged. "They're old. They're pitbulls. They come as a package deal. People want puppies."

I watched Pepper slowly lower himself onto the cool concrete. Salt curled up right next to him, pressing his white head against his brother's black shoulder. They fit together like puzzle pieces. Like they'd been doing this their whole lives.

Like me and Lorraine used to sleep.

"How much is the fee?" I asked.

"Sir, I told you—it's waived. Nobody wants—"

"I want them."

She stared at me. "Both of them?"

"You think I'm gonna separate two old brothers who've already lost everything once?"

That was four months ago.

Now Pepper sleeps on Lorraine's side of the bed. Salt sleeps on mine. The house isn't quiet anymore—it's full of snoring and the click of nails on hardwood and two grey-muzzled faces waiting by the door when I come home from the grocery store.

They lost their person. I lost mine.

We found each other.

Credit - Thomas meade

[Weapon 𝕏 @HellRaz0r1776]

Wife: Where are all the coffee filters?

Me:

[Voodoo @419BillE]

@savethemanatee Hi Moo Shoo!! ❤️

[Voodoo @419BillE]

@Sadie_NC Oh sweet darling Saddy, didn't your mama ever tell you not to use that word? Here is a bar of soap for you.

[Save the Manatee @savethemanatee]

Featured manatee adoptee: Moo Shoo!
Moo Shoo is a female manatee first identified in 2010, Moo Shoo occasionally nudges the research canoe and has had four calves. Learn more about Moo Shoo an adopt her at: https://t.co/GSEGu9ZiSv

[Nayele18 @nayele18maybe]

Hate it when I flip my pillow over to the cool side and accidentally knock over my nightstand spaghetti and meatballs

[Voodoo @419BillE]

@DMiller52325459 S23 my baby girl

[Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi @roywoodjr]

It’s got two settings, Antarctica & Bahamas.
Engine gone rattle like a ‘97 Civic but it ain’t gone fail you. Can’t even hear the TV when it’s on.

[Nayele18 @nayele18maybe]

Sorry for the things I said when I was bloated

[Nayele18 @nayele18maybe]

If I was a bird, I am POSITIVE that I would fly head first into a window

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Holly. She won't fall sleep until she's been given her stuffed cow. 13/10 sweet dreams Holly

[Voodoo @419BillE]

Brush your teeth in the dark and you'll never actually have to again.

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Thanos. He has figured out how to rest and babysit at the same time. Very impressive, very Montessori. 13/10

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Blitz. He just rolled his ball under the couch for the third time in 4 minutes. Knows you have no choice but to grab it again. 13/10 and he's right

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

The moment he noticed the camera and smiled

[Save the Manatee @savethemanatee]

You asked - We answered!
Are manatees intelligent? Watch our short video to learn more!

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

This motherfucker ran a solid kingdom and I think some acknowledgement of that is overdue. Low crime, clean streets, quality monarch.