As a Slavic woman, I am going to give you some advice, because I know that you need it. Be a problem. Be an absolute menace. Be as crazy as you can be, especially when it comes to men. With crazy, I don't mean cussing him out or slashing his tires. Slavic women don't do that. I mean be so unapologetically yourself that it scares him. He needs to fear you. He needs to know his place. You are the closest thing to God. He is accompanying you, but he needs to be good to deserve that place. Don't hold back. Say the thing that nobody is saying out loud. Call him out on his bullshit. Have high standards. Tell him what you want. Be up front and direct. And don't beat around the bush. The right man will think: "I have to keep this one. I am scared of her, but I need to do everything in my power to keep her." And the wrong man will eliminate himself really quickly. Because he will either know that he isn't capable of fulfilling your needs, or he will think that you are completely batshit crazy. Which is fine. Who cares? Stop being a good girl. Stop ignoring your needs and your standards just to keep a man. If you have to do that, that man is not yours to keep. But take care of yourself. Take care of your appearance. Don't walk around looking homeless. If you're going to have high standards for men, first you need to have high standards for yourself. I believe in you. Good luck.
Punishing someone with silence and isolation when you know they survive off communication and reassurance has got to be and the most fucked up form of abuse.
someone said "if you don't let people experience the consequences of their actions towards u, you will remain a safe place for their worst behavior" and I couldn't agree more
the clitoris has erectile tissue that engorges with blood during arousal in the same way a penis does.
full engorgement takes approximately 20 to 30 minutes. most men begin direct stimulation within 3 to 5 minutes. this means the primary organ responsible for female orgasm is being stimulated at 15 to 25% of its full capacity for the majority of the encounter.
the clitoris is not a small button. it is a large internal structure approximately 9 to 11 centimeters long with two crura (legs) that extend along both sides of the vaginal canal and two bulbs that surround the vaginal opening. the visible glans (the part most men focus on) is roughly 10% of the total structure. the other 90% is internal and engorges progressively over 20 to 30 minutes.
when the clitoris is partially engorged, stimulation reaches a fraction of the nerve endings. when fully engorged, the entire structure is pressurized, sensitive, and responsive. the internal bulbs swell and create increased sensation during penetration because they're pressing against the vaginal walls from both sides. the "tightness" that increases during arousal is partially clitoral engorgement, not vaginal contraction.
this changes everything about timing. a man who begins penetration at minute 5 is entering a space surrounded by tissue that is 25% engorged. the internal sensation for her is moderate. the same man at minute 25 enters a space surrounded by tissue that is fully engorged. the internal sensation is dramatically different. same anatomy. same position. completely different experience based entirely on how long he waited.
the 20 minute rule is not about being generous or patient. it is mechanical. the organ that produces her orgasm needs 20 minutes of blood flow to reach operational capacity. stimulating it before then is like revving an engine that hasn't warmed up. it runs. it doesn't perform.
if foreplay has been 5 to 10 minutes and you wonder why she's not responsive yet, the answer is hydraulic. the system hasn't pressurized. the nerve endings that would make her gasp at minute 25 barely register at minute 5 because the tissue surrounding them hasn't filled with blood yet. time is not a courtesy. it's a physical requirement.