Most of the trolls who attack me seem to think bringing up the atomic bombs will somehow hurt my feelings because I'm Japanese.
I hate to disappoint you, gentlemen, but it doesn't work.
Not even a little.
Since some of you seem genuinely confused, allow me to explain.
1. We don't lose arguments to insults.
In Japan, you win an argument with logic, evidence, and facts.
If you can prove me wrong, I'll respect you.
If you just scream "HIROSHIMA!" like a three-year-old who dropped his ice cream, I'm afraid you've accomplished very little.
Except perhaps alarming the neighbors.
2. We actually study our own history.
For my generation, World War II is ancient history.
For 80 years, Japanese schools have taught us that Imperial Japan started a reckless war against an America it had virtually no chance of defeating.
And most of us grew up thinking, "Well, that was an extraordinarily stupid idea."
You cannot humiliate someone by announcing a historical fact they've been studying since childhood.
That's not an insult.
That's a failed history quiz.
3. We love democracy.
Modern Japanese people believe deeply in freedom and democracy.
We also understand that ordinary Japanese citizens lived under a militarist government they had little power to resist.
So when you mock modern Japan for what its wartime rulers did, you're essentially yelling at the grandchildren for their grandparents' government.
A fascinating intellectual achievement.
4. We know exactly what freedom is worth.
Japan spent centuries fighting internal wars before eventually becoming a unified nation.
It later fell under an authoritarian, militarist government.
After defeat, we finally built the liberal democracy we have today.
And we have absolutely no intention of surrendering it.
You think reminding us of that defeat is humiliating?
It's a reminder of how much our country has changed.
5. We don't dream of revenge.
When Japanese people remember Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the overwhelming sentiment isn't "Let's get revenge on America."
It's "We never want anyone, anywhere, to suffer something like that again."
Imagine trying to insult people with a tragedy they've turned into a commitment to peace.
You're not exactly landing the punch you think you are.
6. Losing to America isn't the devastating insult you imagine.
America has unmatched global military power, and countless nations have experienced its power directly or indirectly.
Japan fought the United States and lost.
Yes.
We know.
It's in the textbooks.
It's in the museums.
It's been in the history books for eight decades.
Repeating "YOU LOST!" as if you've personally uncovered a classified military secret is rather adorable.
Do you also run around informing British people that the American colonies declared independence?
7. And finally, a word to my beloved trolls.
I've taken the trouble to explain all this in seven carefully numbered points.
Unfortunately, I suspect some of you have already exhausted your reading capacity somewhere around point two.
If your entire historical argument consists of typing "NUKE JAPAN" in capital letters, please understand that I'm not experiencing emotional devastation.
I'm simply observing what appears to be a remarkably confident piece of dog poop that has somehow acquired internet access.
But do carry on.
It's always fascinating when something with absolutely nothing to say insists on saying it so loudly.