ADAM

it’s a marathon, not a track meet

[ADAM @4D4MD]

I got an ALERT on my phone for this news and for some time, all I could think about was that the way we spell indicted is INSANE

[Breaking News @BreakingNews]

Alec Baldwin has been indicted on a manslaughter charge in the fatal shooting of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins on the set of ‘Rust.’ https://t.co/cSJ0nPVhG0

[ADAM @4D4MD]

I hopelessly unpause hinge for a SECOND, start scrolling, three profiles deep, Boom, she’s flashing a full-blown white power sign??! What is the internet!!Society???

[ADAM @4D4MD]

i am not the thermometer, i am the thermostat

[ADAM @4D4MD]

I seriously can’t stop thinking about Olive Garden

[ADAM @4D4MD]

where can I get a gun in animal crossing

[ADAM @4D4MD]

don’t worry, daddy disco’s gonna get more funky with it

[helena riley @freshhel]

It’s awesome that they do the sunset every single day and you can look at it even if you’re bad

[ADAM @4D4MD]

you give your dog one bowl of cereal and suddenly they think they own the place

[ADAM @4D4MD]

they’re tricking the kids into letting strangers in their homes

[ADAM @4D4MD]

there’s a parenting reality tv competition show??? and one of the challenges is watching their children get kidnapped?!??

[ADAM @4D4MD]

a child is vomiting in the bathroom of a restaurant, she didn’t even eat any of the adult food tho - it’s just a brat vom

[ADAM @4D4MD]

pat sajaks daughter

[ADAM @4D4MD]

employee survey? more like my burn book

[ADAM @4D4MD]

how do i teach my dog to be more grateful

[ADAM @4D4MD]

@llsnwlkrplc dibs on the patts

[ADAM @4D4MD]

everybody stop taking your kids out, they’re in my way