i feel really bad that i haven’t been able to be as mentally or emotionally present as a friend the last month. my capacity to mask is so much lower and i don’t recognize myself some days. i come online mostly to dissociate/distract and sometimes posting reminds me i’m alive
femininity is lotus blossoms, rosebuds, sparkling rivers, the luminous moon, jasmine fragrance, and it’s also the blazing sun, obsidian skies, the fiery abyss of the underworld, the primordial darkness during childbirth and the metallic taste of blood
unlearn shame. all forms of shame: unemployment, illness, vulnerability, longing, desire, errors, failures. you do not need to feel ashamed of what you are experiencing or living. freedom and shame cannot coexist.
I love that they're sticking with the Angel Web Core aesthetic. It's great how they seek the divine in the virtual world. They're trapped in that world.
The kindest thing literature does is remind you that your peculiar little feelings have always existed. Someone, in some century, was equally confused by love, bored by society, tired of performing, and hungry for meaning.
I JUST HEARD SOMEONE SAY
"MAYBE YOU DON'T NEED MORE TIME TO HEAL, MAYBE YOU NEED MORE EXPERIENCES THAT SHOW YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM A DIFFERENT REALTY"
AND, YEAH.
Life updates:
- haven't had a weekend off
- I no longer crave cigarettes ever since getting food poisoning n going back on antidepressants
- an impending sense of doom