Scoop Magruder

Parody journalist with a real journalism degree. Covering politics, sports, and media nonsense with deeply questionable sourcing.

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@RepJackKimble Again, this kind of forward thinking leadership is lacking in our country. Once setup, it could be referred to as: “The great experiment.” And it could be described as: “A republic, if you can keep it.”

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@jarvis_best Hmmmm. I have some questions.

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@HunterBiden @Suzierizzo1 I know one thing. This post is a lot longer than 140 characters.

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@DrunkRepub You’d be angry too if you had that ugly-ass Nazi tattoo on your chest.

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@stranger_five @GavinNewsom Some might say that abortions endanger the public safety of the baby.

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@TheBabylonBee

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@HunterBiden Where’s Hunter???

Found him.

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@3YearLetterman @HunterBiden @SleepyManny @DaveRamsey Better than I deserve.

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@HunterBiden From smokin’ crack to crackin’ jokes.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@SleepyManny Man if you’re going to be mean and least get it right. I smoked crack. I would never have wasted coke on snorting it.

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@3YearLetterman Please let me see Hunter debate Kamala.

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@unusual_whales I was thinking of it closer to the Taj Majal and with that said, it most certainly remain as a permanent part of the White House.

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@bankertobuilder This is right in your wheelhouse, and my sources say that if you complete this project as designed, this build would be in the Guinness Book of World Records for most parking spaces ever constructed for one project (surpassing Disney World in Orlando).

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

Except Scott Pelley is more cringe.

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@TheDemocrats BREAKING FROM ROYTERS: “Actions have consequences!”

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@GavinNewsom @RepJackKimble was busy running a reelection campaign, but he was Trump’s first choice, according to Royters.

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@unusual_whales It’s almost as if…and hear me out. That any kind of peace deal here is going to be difficult.

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@krassenstein @HunterBiden At least there was no corruption in Ukraine. 🇲🇩

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@spencerpratt It’s hard to beat the owner of Bass Pro 🤷‍♂️ Better luck next time?

[Scoop Magruder @4Timed40393]

@TheBabylonBee Depends on the faith I think.

[Burt Macklin @BurtMaclin_FBI]

I’m giving out the financial advice Hunter won’t.