jesse douglass

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

🎶it's raining rain! hallelujah! it's raining rain! amen!🎶 so stupid,but it's early and I haven't been up long enough to be smart yet

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

is get out the vote the sequel to get out?and will it make sense if I haven't seen the first one?

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

i know Trump tweeted he has covid, but democrats don't understand his sense of humor, and will try to use his own words against. ( psst, my tone is subtle sarcasm,you proud idiots)

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross Gisele influences #TomBrady to go to the Buccaneers at 43, in an effort to reraise his jolly roger #fanslam

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross headlines if #TomBrady becomes Florida Man:
-Florida man tries to milk gator after running low on electrolytes
-Florida man tries to win superbowl so he doesn't have to drive cross-country to Disney World #fanslam
-Boston man learns Florida accent by losing teeth(good ooh! line?)

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross #TomBrady is heading to Tampa hoping to "cruise" into the superbowl, sounds like TB-12 is the new COVID-19. here's to hoping the next superbowl parade is a carnival cruise though Tampa #fanslam

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross with #TomBrady going to Florida, now the massage parlors will have more "turnovers" #fanslam

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross when #TomBrady goes to Florida hopefully Florida Man doesn't actually become a fumbling superhero #fanslam

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross win or lose #TomBrady is a short drive away from Disney World, where he can fool guests into thinking there's an animatronic #TomBrady character #fanslam

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross how bad is it if you move away from a shitty accent with teeth to a shitty accent without? #TomBrady #fanslam

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross TB-12 will need to be tested for COVID-19 before entering america's retirement home #fanslam #TomBrady

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross now that #TomBrady is moving to Florida, he's gonna did to get a Pitbull. good news is, I'm pretty sure he's affordable #fanslam

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross why would #TomBrady want to go to a hot and humid climate where dropped balls are a common occurrence? #fanslam

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross how bad will the sunshine state get when the florida men learn the hurry up offense? #TomBrady #fanslam

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross it's appropriate that #TomBrady retires in a state with a caribbean influence where they have a flavor for old tough G.O.A.T. #fanslam

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross in florida #TomBrady isn't the only one who starts a play from the shotgun #fanslam

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross is it a coincidence that #TomBrady is retiring in a state where QBR autocorrects to PBR? (I can't tell if I mean pabst blue ribbon, professional"bowl"rider, or professional"bull"rider) #fanslam

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross hey #TomBrady, isn't there already a tolkien character that's a ring chaser traveling through the death marshes #fanslam

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross you have to be careful writing a roast joke about #TomBrady going to Tampa cause when there's a trade system that involves patriots and buccaneers it's hard to make him still sound like a "free" agent #fanslam #

[jesse douglass @4dglass]

@realjeffreyross