Kern 💖

[Kern 💖 @505eggbert]

Literally crying laughing at this text from my bike shop (8am, no intro) 🚲

[lamb @darkseavoyage]

What if we shared a cactus blossom...

["Dena" @bikemamadelphia]

My mayor sucks
My cheesesteak roll seeded
2026-27 Sixers undefeated

[Chazza @chazzanews]

Skipped morning therapy session so i could eat a bagel and watch TV

[Kern 💖 @505eggbert]

Overheard at pats and geno’s: this is like the Times Square of Philadelphia

[🌽Actual Jake @ActualCorn]

A general strike would go hard rn

[fenlon @fen_lon]

smoking the weed that makes my white ass sit down and Listen

[Kern 💖 @505eggbert]

My head hurts. I deserve workman’s comp

[Kern 💖 @505eggbert]

Me to the guy who love bombed me and said he wants a relationship and then 2 weeks later says he wants to be alone and doesn’t want a relationship or a FWB situation

[josh @joshypooper]

im so fed up can someone put a blanket over my cage

[Kern 💖 @505eggbert]

Too avoidant to date women, to anxious to date men

[𝐵𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝐾 @misskerrington]

I never stopped being a weird girl I just got sexier

[Kern 💖 @505eggbert]

Muscle relaxer + 100mg cbd + an edible + youtube meditation. My year of rest & relaxation begins now

[Kern 💖 @505eggbert]

Saturn devouring his son but it’s me eating a pop tart at 2:43am in bed

[Kern 💖 @505eggbert]

I’d like someone to run the numbers on the frequency of Canadians sending dick pics vs Americans

[John @JohnnyWalsh__]

I’ll vote for whoever pledges to plant a billion trees in south Philly

[ravn @mfnravn]

not to be a flirt but maybe we can find out wtf your problem is over dinner sometime