Terry

A fine judge of cheap alcohol. Ex bullfighter, olympic swimmer and professional dancer. Liar. Bit of a tosser really.

[Terry @5BlueNed]

@SpencerAlthouse Ach, it's certainly better than a smack in the chops! Well done James.

[Terry @5BlueNed]

@Okeating A Flock of Smeagols

[Terry @5BlueNed]

@Midgetgems26 Completely awesome, btw

[Terry @5BlueNed]

@Midgetgems26 Tis like the inside of my head when I'm awake at 3am

[Terry @5BlueNed]

Secret agent, gadgets, women, cars
#AMovieIn5Words

[Terry @5BlueNed]

Parents slain, bat costume revenge
#AMovieIn5Words

[Terry @5BlueNed]

Amigo, Amigo, Amigo, Invisible Swordsman
#AMovieIn5Words

[Terry @5BlueNed]

2020

The year of the highest number of videocalls to pensioners' nostrils and earholes ever.

[Terry @5BlueNed]

@Baddiel The man's deviousness knows no bounds - suspect he's also the one buying up all the hand sanitizer and toilet roll. Next he'll be advising us to masturbate...

[Terry @5BlueNed]

Gwyneth Paltrow's Candle Tester #JobsForMiserablePeople

[Terry @5BlueNed]

Inspect Her Gadget #SexySongsOrMovies

[Terry @5BlueNed]

@stephenfry Do they come quietly in Norfolk?

[Terry @5BlueNed]

@Okeating That bloody Toby Jones is in everything these days....

[Terry @5BlueNed]

Wife arrives in after going out with her friends and asks what you were up to tonight and you tell her you were "Watching back to back episodes of 'Landscape Artist of the Year' with a glass of wine" and realise the more macho answer would have been: "Watching Porn..."
#PAOTY

[Terry @5BlueNed]

@Midgetgems26 Kim Boing Un

[Terry @5BlueNed]

@GracelessHippo That's how my wife greeted me after the vasectomy.

[Terry @5BlueNed]

My wife's G spot #ThingsIFoundInArea51

[Terry @5BlueNed]

@IHPower Are you sure that's Mrs Doyle and not actually Marilyn Monroe?

[Terry @5BlueNed]

They refuse to wear the little propellor hat during sex #GoodReasonsToDumpSomeone

[Terry @5BlueNed]

#IFeelGreatWhen I'm in the house alone and can have a long and satisfying fart without my wife being in the two mile radius to hear it