Chris Parnell

The world is a comedy to those that think...

[Chris Parnell @5starjokes]

#NewProfilePic

[Chris Parnell @5starjokes]

Oak Slab Bench #woodworking #woodwork #churchpew

[Chris Parnell @5starjokes]

I'm old fashioned but I try to keep up with the latest tech.
That's why I always say what I meme and I meme what I say.

[Chris Parnell @5starjokes]

@brianbatescomic I bet you will tell that joke for days and days.

[Chris Parnell @5starjokes]

Mila has a great idea... or does she?

[Chris Parnell @5starjokes]

@brianbatescomic Oh, I bet you blew the roof off of that place. Don't be modest!

[Chris Parnell @5starjokes]

Prince Charles has been king for one day and all of a sudden he talks like Thurston Howell III.

[Chris Parnell @5starjokes]

I drink electrolytes and eat creamy nougat but I have no idea what either of those things are.

[Chris Parnell @5starjokes]

Last night I cooked "Chicken Two Ways". Burnt and bland.

[Chris Parnell @5starjokes]

I spell so bad that sometimes auto correct can't figure out what I'm trying to say.

[Chris Parnell @5starjokes]

I know I married out of my league because more the once a waiter has slipped my wife a note that says "Blink twice if you're being held against your will."

[Chris Parnell @5starjokes]

Fighting inflation is like riding a bike...

[Chris Parnell @5starjokes]

@GaryInYourEars Pick her out a real nice GIF.

[Chris Parnell @5starjokes]

I finally found a gas station that uses King James.

[Chris Parnell @5starjokes]

@ericarhodes I was addicted to soap but I'm clean now.