bert

cuddle bug, sleepy head, etc

[Αριάδνη @vvvanitaas]

damn bro are you the tower of babel because you are stacked in defiance of god and I cannot speak coherently when you go down

[For Sale: Gender Reveal Tire, Lightly Used @SparrowAdorer]

"So what's your take"
"This subway should be filled with sarin, a deadly nerve agent"
"100% disagree"

[bert @612fig]

my deodorant getting smaller but more expensive is unconscionable

[Missy @big__dog72]

They were so jubilant off that baldness

[woof "pronouns" woofington @woofgonecrazy]

oughhhhh fuck flashbang

[bert @612fig]

The Palestinian allegory of Zootopia 2 cannot be overstated

[full metal dingus @fullmetalferret]

She must be a DIY venue the way I’m going crazy in her pits

[bert @612fig]

I’ll never forget someone saying GRRM is a bad person because he created a world with misogyny in it

[felicity 📖 @belladonnafeli]

People legit do not think George is criticizing misogyny in Asoiaf 😭😭😭

[bert @612fig]

Let’s be a croissant with mama

[bert @612fig]

Mardi gras

[bert @612fig]

Pls stop trying to make him the face of New Orleans throw a rock and you can hit any other drunk asshole

[bert @612fig]

I am so tired of hearing about shia lebouf

[jolene of arc @okaypompeii]

Intern Jessica asked me to go get ashes with her and then talked about getting a steak burrito bowl for lunch. I was like "you can't eat meat today" and she said "what?"

[bert @612fig]

Weary is the wizard who carries the staff

[bert @612fig]

I’ve been a nasty girl nasty I’ve been a nasty nasty nasty

[aaliyah 💞 @geardress]

this uber driver is blasting the weeknd and told us we can vape #movie

[bert @612fig]

Honey I Shrunk the Penis

[bert @612fig]

Butt mogging this king fisher