Clinton

From NM SWAT to self-taught guitarist. Survived tactical life. I tell Jokes here. Subscribe to my YouTube channel to watch me play! 👇

[Clinton @614clinton]

Tonight while I was grilling steaks for dinner, my son said, "Dad, one day I will help you with bills, groceries and rent."
My eyes teared up.

He'll be 38 next week.

[Clinton @614clinton]

@WeRsavdKjm 😂

[Clinton @614clinton]

Last summer I was at this bar when a guy came in who was really intoxicated. He sat down right next to me and noticed three darts laying on the counter. He looked at the bartender and asked what the deal was with them. The bartender told him they were running a new promotion where if anyone could hit three bullseyes in a row, they'd win a prize.

The guy was definitely not in any condition to be throwing anything, but he asked where the board was anyway. He lined up the first shot, threw it, and somehow hit a perfect bullseye. He squinted one eye shut, threw the second one, and hit another bullseye. The bartender was just staring at him. And believe it or not, somehow he threw the third one and it was a bullseye too.

The guy looked at the bartender and asked, "So, what did I win?"

The bartender was completely speechless. He obviously didn't expect anyone to actually do it and didn't have a real prize ready. He panicked, ran into the back room, grabbed his pet turtle out of its tank, wrapped it up in a napkin, and handed it to the guy. The drunk just nodded, took it, and walked out.

Then just the other night, I was back at that bar when that same guy walked in.

He looked at the bartender and asked, "Hey, you still got those darts?"

Thinking there was absolutely no way it would happen again, the bartender handed them over.
The guy took aim and hit all three shots perfectly again.

He said, "Great, I won again. What is my prize this time?"

The bartender couldn't believe it, but he knew he had to pay up. He looked at the man and said, "It's been a while, and I honestly don't remember. What did I give you last time?"

The drunk guy said, "A roast beef sandwich on a hard roll."

[Clinton @614clinton]

@KarenMcg1234 Dagnabbit 🤠

[Clinton @614clinton]

@gettoitknox Me too 😂

[Clinton @614clinton]

Last week after the elections I went down to Minnesota to see if there really was an Islamic invasion taking place.

Around 10:00 a.m. on Saturday, I was walking along the River bank right by Little Somalia when I noticed a guy with a heavy backpack. Out of nowhere, he starts screaming "Allahu Akbar," loses his footing, and plunged right into the deep current.

He immediately started flailing, completely weighed down by his pack. It was obvious that if he didn't get help fast, he was going to drown.

Now, being the responsible, law-abiding citizen that I am—I immediately informed the local Police, the Coast Guard, the Immigration office, and the Fire Department.

After about two hours of struggling out there in the water, the guy finally drowned.

Not a single one of the agencies ever showed up.

Honestly, I feel like I wasted four stamps.

[Clinton @614clinton]

I completely distrust our current election system. It is a broken, outdated setup with way too many vulnerabilities.

We rely on people moving physical ballots around, leaving drop-off boxes exposed to being lost or stolen, and let individuals discard votes they don't like under the excuse of a "signature mismatch."

The whole system is completely unreliable.

With today's technology, there is absolutely no reason we are still messing around with paper ballots or machines. We need a secure national voting website, just like verified accounts on X or Facebook.

You make an account, submit your photo ID and SSN to prove eligibility, and get a unique, encrypted voting number.

The minute you cast your ballot, it’s locked in—no name stealing, no double voting, and no voting without strict verification.

Even better, we should be able to watch the votes roll in live in real time, exactly like tracking a viral post on social media. The exact second a vote is cast, you see the numbers update and who is winning.

Completely transparent, unhackable, instant, and completely removes the human element from handling our ballots.

[Clinton @614clinton]

@suzost Nope, our country is run by criminals

[Clinton @614clinton]

I completely distrust our current election system. It is a broken, outdated setup with way too many vulnerabilities.

We rely on people moving physical ballots around, leaving drop-off boxes exposed to being lost or stolen, and let individuals discard votes they don't like under the excuse of a "signature mismatch."

The whole system is completely unreliable.

With today's technology, there is absolutely no reason we are still messing around with paper ballots or machines. We need a secure national voting website, just like verified accounts on X or Facebook.

You make an account, submit your photo ID and SSN to prove eligibility, and get a unique, encrypted voting number.

The minute you cast your ballot, it’s locked in—no name stealing, no double voting, and no voting without strict verification.

Even better, we should be able to watch the votes roll in live in real time, exactly like tracking a viral post on social media. The exact second a vote is cast, you see the numbers update and who is winning.

Completely transparent, unhackable, instant, and completely removes the human element from handling our ballots.

[Clinton @614clinton]

@suzost They will never do it.

[Clinton @614clinton]

@TheCrossSavedMe I can tell you for sure they have been stealing elections for years now

[Clinton @614clinton]

@Whatish64555641 Well said

[Clinton @614clinton]

@twodogsandmenow Exactly, can't have fair elections. That's a no no

[Clinton @614clinton]

@sujajackson56 I started posting about it several years ago, nobody seems to care.🤷

[Clinton @614clinton]

@GKerstiens58341 It was wreckless spending I know that now.😂

[Clinton @614clinton]

Last week after the elections I went down to Minnesota to see if there really was an Islamic invasion taking place.

Around 10:00 a.m. on Saturday, I was walking along the River bank right by Little Somalia when I noticed a guy with a heavy backpack. Out of nowhere, he starts screaming "Allahu Akbar," loses his footing, and plunged right into the deep current.

He immediately started flailing, completely weighed down by his pack. It was obvious that if he didn't get help fast, he was going to drown.

Now, being the responsible, law-abiding citizen that I am—I immediately informed the local Police, the Coast Guard, the Immigration office, and the Fire Department.

After about two hours of struggling out there in the water, the guy finally drowned.

Not a single one of the agencies ever showed up.

Honestly, I feel like I wasted four stamps.

[Clinton @614clinton]

@SJJ3fan Yes but I had to stop and pick up a few items from the grocery store on the way to the post office.🤷

[Clinton @614clinton]

@VickersB 😜

[Clinton @614clinton]

@sunny_skies25 😉

[Clinton @614clinton]

@JessieJaneDuff Good job Jessie, I'm proud of you 😊

[Gunnery Sergeant Jessie Jane Duff @JessieJaneDuff]

Happy 251st Birthday, Marines! And a happy Veterans Day to all who served.

People often ask why I chose the Marines. Here’s the story:

I moved out at 17, five days before high school graduation. Needless to say, my parents weren’t happy with me. I had a job, but I knew I had to do something extraordinary—and fast—to survive.

So, in the wisdom of a 17-year-old without a driver’s license, I decided to join the Marine Corps. I wanted to prove to them that I could thrive in an even stricter setting than their home.

Well, that was stubborn pride talking. I had no family history in the Corps. I studied ballet, tap, and gymnastics since I was three or four, played piano and violin, and wore a dress to school every day. In high school, I would have been voted least likely to join the Marines in my senior class.

However, I needed my parents’ consent. My parents were not even speaking to me, mostly my father. I had already moved out and worried the recruiter would be thrown out of their home, but they signed before I turned 18.

Now, to put everyone on pins and needles, I delayed my ship date for what may have seemed to be foolish reasons, which upset many. Some thought I would back out and not a single adult in my life wanted that. Goodness - they wanted someone watching me to keep me out of trouble and thought I would ruin my life with bad decisions if I didn't ship to boot camp. I dug my heels in and didn't ship for almost 5 more months.

I never considered dropping out. That delay helped - I started running and getting my head on straight about what seemed like an impulsive decision. Many years later, I learned that "direct ships", the kids that sign and ship immediately, have a very high discharge rate. I know now: that delay was wise.

So, I shipped to Parris Island in the winter—from sunny California to a cold, windy, and wet island—and faced screaming drill instructors. Believe it or not, I had no regrets. Ballet instructors, music teachers, and my parents had already taught me discipline and yelling at me was nothing new. I adjusted better than many, and my life changed forever.

Years later, I noticed my mother kept a small boot camp photo of me at 18 years old and another of me as a Corporal at a Marine Corps Birthday Ball. They sat on a nearly hidden shelf in the curio above her desk.

I asked why she never worried I would make it through boot camp and my enlistment, especially when females were only about 6% of the Corps. She said, “You’re my daughter. Of course I knew you would make it. You were going to show us.”

Too many people doubted me, but my mother knew I was determined to prove myself. Those old, scratched, and faded photos stayed in her curio until today and they're here now for the world to see.

Happy Birthday, Marines.

We are The Few. The Proud. Semper Fi! 🦅🌎⚓️

[Clinton @614clinton]

@TimothyDenney13 You're welcome 😁