étienne

ultimate twink in progress ✦ 24 • he/him 🏳️‍⚧️ • en/fr/de ✦ former b1nger, pro-recov!

[étienne @6363637d]

proper intro time! 🐑

✦ he/him • born '02
✦ former pro athlete
✦ first dx in 2015, recovered but relapsed recently
✦ gw: 48kg • lw: 44kg
✦ interests: xlov, archery, gaming, reading

dni: minors, post sh images, anti-recov

[étienne @6363637d]

chat am i fucked. my therapist made me show her my calorie tracking app.

[étienne @6363637d]

i think i need to leave germany and go back to france this country has done nothing but make me worse in every way. but do i want to job hunt again in the middle of a relapse.

[étienne @6363637d]

@aeyzen_whoTf nein 💗 ich bin schon froh wenn ich hochdeutsch verstehe

[étienne @6363637d]

my mom calling me to ask for calorie tracking advice 💀 wow i wonder why i never got recov help as a teen

[étienne @6363637d]

@alois33403 acting like you're personally stealing it from their cabinets or whatever 😭😭

[étienne @6363637d]

@mayssdiaryy im under 160cm and i eat about 1000-1200 for harm reduction (also relapsed lol) and losing pretty consistently with 10k-15k steps most days

[étienne @6363637d]

@creampufkitty c'est chiant fr 💀

[étienne @6363637d]

haven't been to therapy since relapsing hard and lost a lot of weight since then and now she asked me to come in again next week 🧍🏻i have a choice to make about lying to my therapist or not because she knows about past ana dxs

[étienne @6363637d]

@aeyzen_whoTf häh wer was 🧍‍♂️

[étienne @6363637d]

pourquoi ai-je l'impression qu'il était plus facile de perdre du poids en france qu'en allemagne T-T

[étienne @6363637d]

i burned over 800 cals right after so its okay but i immediately struggled so much with myself to eat the entire thing bc of spiraling thoughts i hate my brain sm

[étienne @6363637d]

saved calories to get a sweet treat and the very nice bakery lady was like "look i picked out the biggest piece for you!" 🥀 sweet gesture wrong person 🥀🥀

[étienne @6363637d]

@berryyblues they have to follow the patientsäkerhetslagen which forbids them to share any information unless its about suspected child abuse or severe immediate danger

[étienne @6363637d]

having the urge to visit my parents and just take all my trophies and medals home with me to remind me of what discipline i used to have as an athlete while now i feel so fucking lazy and sedentary

[étienne @6363637d]

would it be weird to ask my top surgeon if i can know what my boobs weighed after top surgery

[étienne @6363637d]

@vireloooo at some point i decided it's not worth it anymore 😭 id rather lose more slowly with a higher intake but not feel miserable constantly ill still get skinny eventually

[étienne @6363637d]

@lesscalsluav not on my feed this feels somethingphobic 🥀🥀