Merissa

[Merissa @69marizza69]

Not to be the bearer of bad news, but paperboy cap is not what made JFK jr attractive. It’s actually the fact that he was the president’s son.

[Merissa @69marizza69]

I think the way I feel about rich brian is the way I think people feel about j cole

[Merissa @69marizza69]

If I ever became Twitter famous I would tell people and ask them to guess how bc that really reveals how you feel about me.

[Merissa @69marizza69]

Take emojis away from moms asap

[Merissa @69marizza69]

Crack ass of dawn

[Merissa @69marizza69]

1. Moonlight
2. Heated Rivalry
3. CMBYN

[Merissa @69marizza69]

Top 3 celeb crushes:
1. Harry Styles
2. That guy from kickin’ it
3. This random asos model I see all the time

[Merissa @69marizza69]

My coworker just walked into the back room to tell me that he hooked up with the winner of the Zayn Malik look alike contest

[Merissa @69marizza69]

Me attempting to make a list of interesting questions

[Merissa @69marizza69]

Watching mukbangs feeds me

[Merissa @69marizza69]

Just paid this Chinese man $40 cash to let me on his bus to nyc. Considering the trauma this experience has caused me, I’m happy my $40 is in his pockets and not lucky star or whatever the fuck

[Merissa @69marizza69]

Things r not even personal between me and people, but personal between me and god at this point.

[Merissa @69marizza69]

Folding ur blanket in half when ur cold, cause it’s like double blanket idk

[Merissa @69marizza69]

Watching spring breakers for the first time and I just know James Franco is gonna be in my nightmares.

[Merissa @69marizza69]

When I worked at P.F. Chang’s I saw many things including my co workers whole vagina

[Merissa @69marizza69]

You’re telling me Tom Cruise doesn’t play James Bond

[Merissa @69marizza69]

I have whoticism

[Merissa @69marizza69]

Way too many people are in the style of bob’s burgers

[Merissa @69marizza69]

Thinking about when my cousin watched rush hour for the first and thought he knew Jackie Chan but he just knows my dad.

[Merissa @69marizza69]

Karate kid (the one with Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan) is a legitimate cinematic masterpiece.