Ur life is not ur own. It’s simply a mere misconception.
Try ur best to create better habits and have grace for urself for the ones u have built up. But still be STRICT. God is in charge always but meet him half way. Life was already guaranteed to be HARD. ACCEPT it and know that God has ur back. Ultimately the eyes are the window to the soul and the heart is not to be trusted. The body is corrupt and that’s why we NEEEED God.