Billie🦁

[Shumba Rumba🦁 @Shumba_rumba]

Big brother Zimbabwe 😂😂😭
Haa tinenge tichingonyadziswa 😂💔

[SHEQ🦺 Vafarisi the Gafa🇿🇼 @beemurandu88]

Pano panombonakidzaa vakomana🤣

[𝐍𝐞𝐝 @ChineduHerbert_]

We are ignoring the elephant in the room

[𝚃 @T_wontmiss]

Me at 3am wondering how people even started translating languages if they didn't understand each other

[‘teegee’ 🇦🇷 @Boy_Teegee]

😂😂😂

[ᗩl wᗩdᑌd_tᕼe sIᗰᑭ @_MakdShelby]

Getting scammed sounds silly when youre not on the receiving end 😂. You be like , ko iwe wamupirei ??? Wadii kutora number dzake ??? Wadii kubvunza ?? Ko hauna kuona here ??? Wadii kuramba ??

Until its your turn😂🤞🏽

[VT @VusiThembekwayo]

David didn't pray for Goliath.
He killed him.

[Billie🦁 @6lackBillz]

@__Vigie Carrick ball💪

[dracojeremy @jeremyb___]

coming back from the grammarly ad to find Ghana losing by 2 goals already:

[ᗩl wᗩdᑌd_tᕼe sIᗰᑭ @_MakdShelby]

Hmmmm varume chii chinganakirana ne Champions League ? Chaizvo chaizvo 😭🙌🔥?

[Nigel Tha SlickPastor @thaslickpastor]

"Watch your step"
"Kufambirana nenguva"
"One step at a time"
Add yours 😂😂😂

[Atif @atifreds]

"will you be there in the hard times" she asked

[GOD GULUVA @Zweli_Thixo]

In March 2021, I gave some guy a lift from Durban to Johannesburg. Throughout the trip, he was complaining about how his pub and shisanyama business was not doing well blah blah blah.

I didn't know what to say to him, so I lied that I was a very powerful prophet from KwaNdebele - Prophet Majikizinto, a Nguni name, meaning to turn things around. I told him I had powers to make his business flourish again. Hawu!!, he didn't even doubt me. He believed me on the spot. That time, I was just joking to make the journey shorter. He asked for my number, and I gave him the Telkom one that I only used for underground missions.

He called a week later to tell me he needed my services. I had already told my cousin about the guy, and he encouraged me to knock him. Okay, cool, my cousin and I drove to the guy's place in Mbombela. On our way we bought water, salt and candles. My cousin brought a drum made of animal skins, the kinda drum they use at sangoma gigs. We got to the guy's place around 23h00. I took the guy to a nearby stream and told him to undress. I lit the candles and mixed water with salt. My cousin was busy giving us some nice beats with his drum while singing nonexistent songs in nonexistent languages - " Yoh madlabantu yoh zama zama chipele chipele chipele weeeh mama yoh"

I sprinkled the guy with water while praying in tongues. When we finished with the stream session, we headed to his pub and shisanyama establishment. My cousin whispered to me that we must act like I'm performing a ritual on him while pointing him with a knife, that was a mistake, everything happened so quick I mistakenly chopped his ear and I had to lie that is part of the ritual and we must bury it at the gate. Eh... I thought he was going to be angry, and he said whatever it takes for his business to work. We buried it at the gate. The guy paid us R30k plus a goat for our services. As soon as we left, I threw away the Telkom sim card. Did we not get drunk that weekend!!! We were spenders that weekend shem 😂.

So today I was walking at Mall of Africa in Johannesburg and a voice behind me went 'Prophet Majikizinto'. I froze on the spot. I wanted to run, but my legs suffered a mysterious mobility like load shedding. I turned around, and Half-mandlebe was right there.

Before I could utter a word, he was like, "Man of God, I just wanna thank you for what you did. My businesses are booming. I opened another shisanyama and bought two taxis. I've been trying to get hold of you since last year, but your number is no longer working. Thank you thank thank you. I'm ready to lose another ear."

I still have so many unanswered questions. 😭

[Rolivhuwa 🫶🏾 @ReezaySA]

I’m so traumatised sana 2 taxi drivers just shot each other at bree taxi rank this afternoon, they were fighting for a load and are both dead. Picture in the comments 😭💔💔💔

[COMANDANTE🦍 @hankasello]

Being a thief in Africa is an extreme sport. Look how they caught him😭😭😭😂😂😂😂

[ᗷEᖇᑎᗩᖇᗪ🃏 @post_nobill]

Some niggas have won in life and they have no idea

[Billie🦁 @6lackBillz]

@_MakdShelby Zvaramba😂

[Taurus Groove @jiggyjayy2]

I been on the internet too long

[Kwesi Spito @KwesiSpito]

Twitter is where you see a post, it makes sense so you like it then you go the cs and someone makes a good counter point so you unlike the post 😭😭😭

[Somto Okonkwo @General_Somto]

“He Placed a Huge Bet Using His Savings On Manchester City To Beat Manchester United And Was Very Confident Of Winning. Manchester City Lost, And He Ended Up In Tears. He’s Been Crying Ever Since.” ~ Man