73span

RIP megalodon.

[73span @73span]

Sorry the funny stopped .. First bathroom break

[73span @73span]

It's actually going well

[73span @73span]

I got here one min late...she's not here. Still within the 4 min window of her late text

[73span @73span]

...at the double tree. Which means she's eaten there previously and still returned

[73span @73span]

Just left the doubletree...en route to dinner. Overheard a girl tell her friend "everything tastes the same here.." In regards to the food

[73span @73span]

What should I open with? I need a story of how kind I am, but I have none!!!

[73span @73span]

Decided against getting condoms. #safestsexisNOsex

[73span @73span]

To be clear, I'm still at the double tree..that warning was premature

[73span @73span]

Game time. I might only be able to tweet if the date is bombing or she goes to the bathroom.

[73span @73span]

Reservation is in 7 min. Do I leave this doubletree? It's so warm here. No one judges

[73span @73span]

Realized I mixed extra strength exedrin with alcohol!!!??! Is that bad? What if I accidentally overdose in the middle of dinner

[73span @73span]

Or perhaps I casually inform the waitress the pass the courvoisier.

[73span @73span]

You can be anyone you want on a first date..I know she only drinks wine, plus she's older, so maybe I really fucking love wine tonight

[73span @73span]

For some reason I can stop humming "call me maybe" in my mind...fuck you Carly Rae Jepsen

[73span @73span]

Dating is weird, maybe I'll meet someone new at the doubletree hotel bar, which is flanked by a pizza counter to its immediate left

[73span @73span]

@73span date texts that she is "running 5 min late" .. I text back "no problem" #doubletree #likeaboss #casualFRIDAYS

[73span @73span]

Double 🌳

[73span @73span]

Yup, this happened. Pre-game the pre-game

[73span @73span]

Double tree by Hilton hotel bar? WHY THE FUCk not!! ✔️