Swapportunists

After discovering the wifey has a thing for certain gals, we decided to live life Lewis and Clark style. This is where we let our freak flag fly.

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@zytek66947662

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@CaterinaCatK I don’t think anyone sees the bikini the way you see the bikini with your bits a’ jigglin’ in it.

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@angel_0f_deathx @RightWingWatch I wouldn’t say they have *no* chin. I’d say they have weak, deficient chins that are normally seen as a sign of multi-generational inbreeding.

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@CaterinaCatK Bien sûr!

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@angel_0f_deathx A thrash metal band that’s currently ON TOUR? 🤘🏻 https://t.co/sDP8t22Bm8

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@CaterinaCatK “Golly, it’s pouring rain; look at me with no umbrella and all I’m wearing upstairs is this thin white tee shirt.” -Me (The slutty version, which is the normal version. There’s only one version.)

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@CaterinaCatK Yo, girl! https://t.co/d8TGFOU3Rj

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@Aellagirl Gnomes. Even if it’s not gnomes, it’s gnomes.

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@AnnieFuckinCruz @AnniesCruzaders

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@Aellagirl Mine are in the air, waving like I just don’t care.
(I’ve always been poor-to-mediocre at social cues.)

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@Aellagirl Yeesh. That would take DAYS!

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@angel_0f_deathx Bikini body? Check.
Bikini weather? Fuck.

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@landofthe80s Soul Finger by The Bar-Kays

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@CaterinaCatK @heyyguido Is that because there’s trauma attached to most of the dicks you see being unsolicited and in your DMs?

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@Aellagirl My dick’s a terrible conversationalist and would just end up spraying his spittle all over them.

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@AnnieFuckinCruz @AnniesCruzaders I’d waft fresh lumpia under her nose and hope she revives.

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@CaterinaCatK Your bold strategy paid off!

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@CaterinaCatK Came for the “I’d like to get a pizza that”-style puns. Am disappoint.

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@CaterinaCatK @Combs0294 His real crime was wearing socks with sandals while not being German.

[Swapportunists @904Native]

@MayMayspeaks Who’s on first?